They Mar My Path
by Athlete Girl
Summary: A spinoff of Sympathy for the Devil by Silksteel. Beth follows a tortuous path towards love. Title from Job: They mar my path, they set forward my calamity, they have no helper. Rated M for eventual smut. I own nothing related to The Walking Dead.
1. Chapter 1

**This is an AU story that branches off of Sympathy for the Devil by Silksteel who rocks. Please read Chaps 1-6 of SFTD before starting this one! Her story was so compelling that I begged her to branch off and she graciously complied. **

Shock

_Karen._ Beth's head spun. She'd only heard Merle use a given name when he referred to his brother, someone who he loved deeply. The only person he loved in fact. She had always liked it when he called her nicknames but now that she thought about it he called everyone who wasn't close to him by some kind of nickname. _And I'm just another one of them._

Her thoughts flew back to late last night when she had gone to the bathroom to find him waiting outside when she got out. He startled her and she drew her knife. "Gonna stab me little girl?" he rumbled. She sighed, "No but now I may have to go to the bathroom again." He had sidled closer with his right arm propped against the wall. She stood up straighter and willed herself not to shrink under his gaze. "Problems sleepin'?" he drawled, reaching up to play with the small bow on the front of her tank top. She felt her nipples harden and wished she would have worn something over her shirt.

"A little," she answered. She thought to herself that he was like a cobra. You could look at his eyes or his whole face or even his body and be hypnotized, leaving him free to strike. And that's the way he wanted it. He looked slowly up and down her body. "Shame nobody around ta help ya get ridda that extra energy," he drawled. She felt her whole body flush and she dropped her gaze to his neck. She didn't answer.

"If circumstances were different I'd say'd be a good job for ole Merle," he said, tilting his head slightly as he moved his finger in a line from the bow down between her breasts to her navel. She was frozen and on fire at the same time. One side of his mouth curled up and he leaned in closer to brush his lips against hers. "Get ta bed darlin'," he rasped.

At that moment she had thought she was special.

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"Rick, I've looked into the eyes of that boy and I'm tellin' ya he ain't right," insisted Hershel. Hershel had had a long talk with Beth's young stalker about peeping into Beth's cell while she was changing. The kid was a tall gawky teenager with a wispy mustache and weird eyes. He didn't socialize with people and often lurked in doorways. "He don't know right from wrong and he's going to hurt somebody," Hershel concluded. Rick looked from Hershel to Daryl to Glen. He said, "If he hasn't committed a serious crime I can't do anything Hershel. We can restrict him to his cell block and forbid him from talking to Beth."

"Fine," said Hershel, exasperated. "But no good will come of this", he warned. Beth was tired of drama so she went outside to soak up some sun before she had to watch Judith. It was early spring but when the sun was shining it was warm. She leaned against the warm bricks of the cellblock wall and soaked it in with her eyes closed until her skin was warm.

"Looks like we're on watch together every Tuesday," came a deep caramel voice. She opened her eyes to see Tyreese standing to the side so he didn't block her sun. She smiled. "Yes, I saw that. Tuesday afternoons. So tomorrow we start." Tyreese smiled and said, "I'll be there with bells on." She giggled picturing him wearing bells all over him.

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That night Merle sat off to the side conversing with Karen throughout dinner. _Why can't he just go to her cellblock to talk_, Beth thought irritably. She couldn't help but notice Karen was much closer to Merle's age and she had long brown hair and womanly curves. Beth thought of her boyish malnourished body. _I don't have a chance_, she thought.

The next day she proceeded to the tower for watch. Merle and Rick were on the Tuesday morning shift. She was a bit early and Tyreese wasn't in the courtyard so she proceeded to the tower singing an old Hank Williams song in the bright sunshine. She climbed the stairs and was surprised to see Merle in the tower alone. She smiled politely at him yet stayed aloof. "Good morning," she said. "Where's Rick?" Merle turned to look at her with the hint of a smirk. "Officer Friendly had some urgent business to attend and trusted me enough to leave me with thirty minutes of solo watch."

Beth didn't reply and instead walked to the window to survey the fence. She didn't intend to talk to him anymore. _He can talk to KAREN_. She walked out of the perch door to stand on the catwalk. She restarted her Hank Williams song for herself tapping her booted foot to the beat. She could feel his eyes on her back and refused to look anywhere but ahead.

She jumped when a wasp dropped down the front of her button down shirt. She bent over carefully and flapped her shirt to get it out and it went deeper towards her bra. She pulled the bottom of her shirt out and flapped it trying to get it to drop out of the bottom. In her panic she slapped it flat against her chest and screamed involuntarily when it stung her repeatedly between her breasts. She shook it out and stepped on it. The stings burned and made her eyes water.

She went back into the tower to escape further threat. Merle met her in the doorway. "The hell is wrong with you?" he asked. She was spitting mad. "Stung," she spat. He pulled her shirt out and looked down the front of it to see the angry red weals between her pert breasts. He moaned, "Mmmmmmmmmm little girl. Need me to suck the poison out?"

Beth jerked back clutching the front of her shirt. She looked in his eyes and what she saw horrified her. Greed. Callousness. She gasped and backed away from him towards the inside of the room. _I'm a number. A thing to him. _Instantly she realized that her saving him was just a debt he'd repay in kind. Beth was young and hurt but she wasn't weak. She pulled on her inner reserves and looked him in the eye. "You think that me liking you is funny. I don't think it funny. It hurts." She heard him laugh as she descended the stairs to wait for Tyreese.

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She and Tyreese got along well and in the course of their conversations she found that he had been in the NFL. "Do you think you could teach me to fight?" she asked. He appraised her and asked "Fight what, girl?" She looked at him levelly. "Men," she answered.

When going with Carol to the Woodbury cellblock that night Beth found that one of the residents had in their possession a guitar. She looked at it like a starving person would look at a hot dog. She introduced herself to the elderly man and asked if she could borrow it sometime. He made her strum a few chords to show that she knew how to play it then warily said that she may be able to borrow it tomorrow night but would have to return it the next morning. She readily agreed, beaming. There was some hope for happiness.

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She busied herself the next morning with distributing food to both cellblocks with Carol. When they were done they walked through both cellblocks to make sure there were no health problems. The elderly man saw her and motioned it over. "Give it back to me tomorrow morning," he said as if he would regret it. Beth thanked him repeatedly and kissed him. She looked at Carol expectantly and Carol laughed. "Go," she said.

Beth walked quickly to the prison yard and sat down with her back against the wall in the sun. She tuned the guitar by ear and strummed a few chords. Soon it was flooding back to her and she closed her eyes while she played. Soon she was singing snatches of songs that she remembered. She looked up to see Carol motioning to her because it was already time to get lunch ready. She was on Judith duty.

She gently laid the guitar on her cot and tended her duties. When Judith went down for her afternoon nap she retrieved the guitar and went back to the kitchen area. She and Carol had already cleaned after lunch and it was nearly empty. There would be some stragglers to get a cold lunch but they could help themselves. She set herself up to sit on the top of a table with her feet on the bench. She was using a paper and pencil to jot down notes and lyrics that she remembered, trying to jog her memory.

She closed her eyes and played a song she knew well from church. Her voice rang off of the high ceiling as she felt out the familiar tune. When she opened her eyes Merle and Karen were standing off to the side watching her. They had come in for a late lunch. Karen had her arm tucked around Merle's. She gushed, "Oh, you play so beautifully. I could listen to you all day!" Beth met her eyes briefly then dropped them. "Thank you," she said automatically.

"Can you play something upbeat?" asked Karen. "Something happy?" Beth swallowed. "Um, probably," said Beth. "What's the occasion?" Karen squeezed Merle's arm. "Hasn't Merle told y'all? We're having a baby!"

**As a Mether this was really hard to write. Opinions so far?**


	2. Chapter 2 Trouble

**Trust me, as a Mether this story is killing me. But it's silksteel's fault for breaking my heart in the first place with her implied Karen-Merle pairing. Trust me our Bethy isn't going to fade away. I OWN NOTHING RELATED TO THE LIVING DEAD OR TO TAYLOR SWIFT.**

Trouble

Beth's eyes widened to the size of softballs and she struggled not to let her mouth hang open. She stared at Karen. "Congratulations," she murmured as she swallowed the lump in her throat. 

_He kissed me. He made me feel special. And all the while he had his baby momma at Woodbury. _The thought of Merle having sex with Karen made her want to vomit.

Beth roused herself and asked, "Pop song?" without looking at either of them. "That would be great," said Karen. "I miss the radio."

Beth cleared her throat and looked down at her guitar while she strummed a few notes. She drew the guitar close and slumped her shoulders over it as if it would protect her bruised heart. She started softly: (From I knew you were trouble when you walked in by Taylor Swift)

Once upon a time a few mistakes ago

I was in your sights, you got me alone

You found me, you found me, you found me

I guess you didn't care, and I guess I liked that

**(Beth raised her eyes to look at Merle who returned her gaze unflinchingly)**

And when I fell hard you took a step back

Without me, without me, without me

**(Beth looked back down and sang to the guitar)**

And he's long gone when he's next to me

And I realize the blame is on me

**(Beth raised her eyes to meet Merle's and strummed with more emotion, her boot tapping on the bench)**

'Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in

So shame on me now

Flew me to places I'd never been

'Til you put me down, oh

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

So shame on me now

**(she looked back down at the guitar)**

Flew me to places I'd never been

Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground

Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble

No apologies, he'll never see you cry

Pretend he doesn't know that he's the reason why

You're drowning, you're drowning, you're drowning

**(Beth caught Merle's eye and sang the next two lines with quiet conviction)**

Now I heard you moved on from whispers on the street

A new notch in your belt is all I'll ever be

And now I see, now I see, now I see

He was long gone when he met me

And I realize the joke is on me, yeah!

I knew you were trouble when you walked in (chorus)

**(She sang without playing for the next two lines, fixing her eyes on Merle's)**

And the saddest fear comes creeping in

That you never loved me or her, or anyone, or anything, yeah

**(She looked down at the guitar to hide the tears pricking her eyes but her voice didn't quaver)**

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

Trouble, trouble, trouble

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

Trouble, trouble, trouble

Beth shifted on the table to pick up her notes without looking at either of them. "Excuse me," she said abruptly and retreated to the cellblock with her guitar. Karen had not felt Merle stiffen when Beth started singing the song. He was standing like a statue and his eyes were flinty. She looked up at him and said, "That's so great she can do Taylor Swift! I wonder what else she can sing?"

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When he and Daryl had arrived at Woodbury just a couple days ago Karen had urgently wanted to talk to him. She boarded the bus first and they went to the back. "What's so damned important?" he asked impatiently. "I'm pregnant," she said. "And it's yours. Isn't it wonderful?"

_Pregnant? _Merle's mind reeled_. I only hit that shit a few times, didn't even hardly talk to her._ He remembered that it started as a couple of knowing looks and there wasn't much conversation. They had both got what they needed and gone on their way. It had only lasted a few weeks.

He rolled his tongue around his mouth and fixed her with his gaze. "And how ya know it's mine?" he asked, "I wasn't the only one you was with". She beamed at him. "Because I know. I know who I was with when, and there's no doubt this is yours." He thought back. He had been with her months ago before the governor went ape shit. He knew that because after the governor went ape shit it became a full time job dealin' with him and Merle didn't have the opportunity for recreation time.

"Ya told me you was covered," he said. "I was," she said, "It's like our little miracle." She was clearly thrilled to be having a baby at her age and in this world. "Don't worry," she said. "We don't have to get married right away. And you don't have to adopt Noah."

_Married? Adoption? Not on Merle Dixon's watch. Unless that kid is my blood. No way to tell these days neither._ His thoughts ran as she chattered away on the way to the prison. "Ya keep it quiet for now," he ordered Karen as they approached the prison.

As they went through the prison gates he thought of Beth waiting for him and he worked his jaw. _Gotta clean up this mess with Karen and make another one with that little girl_, he thought. _She don't deserve to be collateral damage for my fuckup. Best to pull off the bandage quick and learn her I'm no good._

When he got off the bus he made sure to use Karen's name in front of Beth and to sit with Karen at meals. Later he sealed the deal in the watchtower by laughing at her when she confessed to liking him. Her last glance at him as she went down the stairs was like that of a kicked puppy, pain and confusion in her eyes. _Get away from me angel. I'm a bad man._

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_How many tears have run into my ears since that group of strangers showed up at my daddy's farm?_ she thought. _Hundreds? Thousands?_ She was laying on her back in her bunk while Hershel watched Judith and the tears rolling out of her eyes trickled straight down from the corners of her eyes to her ears. _I can cry all I want here but I will NEVER EVER let him see me cry again_, she vowed. She sat up and wiped her nose. Her fingers were sore from playing the guitar all day but she only had the rest of the night until she had to return it.

After dinner she cleaned up for bed and fashioned some guitar picks out of pieces from plastic containers. _This will save my fingers a few layers of skin_, she thought. The others in the cellblock asked if she could play before they bedded down and she complied, sitting against the wall in the soft lantern light. Merle wasn't in yet_. Good._ She sang several gospel tunes and hymns and everyone thanked her. They all bedded down and soon the lights were off. She heard Merle come in late and waited another thirty minutes to make her move. She had on a pair of soft flannel boxers and a worn pink tank top and her knife was belted around her waist. She threw one of Hershel's old button up shirts on and decided on a pair of thick fluffy socks instead of her boots to muffle the sound of her walking.

She carefully grabbed the guitar and made her way through the kitchen, past the bathrooms and to the warden's office around the corner. She could make a lot of noise here and no one would know. She softly shut and locked the door and walked in the darkness to the desk. Glen and Maggie had been using this as their love shack so there was a blanket on the couch and a couple of lanterns on the warden's desk, which she illuminated. _Ew_, she thought as she sat on the couch. _Don't think about it._

She strummed absently for a few minutes and thought, _there'_s _only one thing that's good for a broken heart and that's country music_. She picked up a country beat and sang until the anvil crushing her heart began to lighten.

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_What the fuck is she doin' walkin' around by herself at night?_ Merle thought. He was tired and cranky. It seemed no matter where he went Karen found him always yappin' about baby stuff. _She had to ask for a fuckin' song then open her mouth about the kid. Fer sure everbody knows now. And little miss looked like she was hit by a freight train. _He smiled to himself when he thought about the song she sang. _Handed it to me good._ _Little thing does have balls_, he thought.

He lay half asleep for thirty minutes waiting to hear her walk by so he could go to sleep. She never did. "Fuck," he swore to himself and put on a pair of pants. He walked to the bathrooms and didn't find her there. He continued down the hallway and heard guitar sounds coming from the office. He sighed and leaned his back on the wall opposite the office door. She was in there strummin' and singin' her heart out: Your Cheatin' Heart, He Ain't Worth Missin', Crazy, Linda on My Mind, I'm Not Lonely (I'm Lonesome for You), You Win Again, Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under, D-I-V-O-R-C-E, Lonely Won't Leave Me Alone. Every possibly country heartbreak 'he did me wrong' song in the catalog. Merle pursed his lips. She was alone and making noise. It was a bad combination with walkers around.

Beth was getting hoarse. Her throat got scratchy at the low and high notes and she began to cough a little bit. She finally had to admit that she had squeezed as much use out of the guitar as she could in the few hours she had it. She was eternally grateful for the experience. She would play a few songs for the old man tomorrow to thank him.

She was so sick of being sad. She tried as hard as she could to hate Merle but hate didn't come easily to her heart. She realized that there was nothing she could do to change Merle's actions. She had to work on herself, bury herself in other things until she forgot him. She played 'shave and a haircut' on the guitar and loudly said, "Buck up Beth! He's just a stupid man." She took a deep breath and felt a little better.

She shut off one of the lanterns and grabbed a metal hanger from the coat closet. She unwound it and crouched to look under the door. It was dark and she couldn't see much so she stuck the wire under the door and moved it back and forth to detect any feet. It was clear. She held the guitar by the neck with her left hand and unsheathed her knife with the right. She put the lantern she brought with her on the floor and cautiously opened the door, gently sliding the lantern into the middle of the hallway with her foot so she could see. She looked left and right then gently shut the office door behind her.

She proceeded towards the corner where the hallway turned towards the bathrooms pushing the lantern ahead of her with her foot. She hesitantly stuck her head around the corner and jumped with her knife raised when she saw Merle standing there with his arms crossed. "Tryin' to draw every walker within a mile?" he growled. She looked at him defiantly trying to copy his cold gaze then picked up her lantern and walked past him. Ten different nasty retorts came to her lips but a small mature part of her brain cautioned, _He's got a woman._ _Why bother? Aren't you tired enough?_ She walked back to her cell without a word and thought of music until she fell asleep.

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"We ain't here to play," warned Tyreese, "I expect you to work." Beth nodded her head, ready to start training for self defense. Rick had devised a weekly watch schedule in which both Woodbury residents and Rick's group participated. He and Merle had Tuesday morning watch mainly because he didn't trust Merle and wanted to keep an eye on him. Tyreese and Beth had Tuesday afternoons so Tyreese decided that they should train for the two hours prior to their watch and another two hours on Sundays after Hershel read scripture for the group.

Today was Tuesday and it was their first session. "Do a warm up lap," he said nodding at the inner fence. Beth nodded and began to jog around the perimeter. She stayed about 10 feet away from the fence to avoid riling up the walkers. When she finished she returned to him panting. He stood in front of her with his arms crossed. "Hit me," he said. She looked at him questioningly. "Hit me. With all you got," he added. She ran at him and pushed at his chest. "That's what you got?" he asked. She went at him again and again. She didn't move him an inch. When she was good and tired Tyreese said, "Right now I think your best offense might be your defense. Don't worry, I'll teach you offense but I think you need to learn how to get away as your first plan of attack." Beth was disappointed but nodded.

He set out three evenly spaced tin cans. The two on the ends were about sixty feet apart. He placed her so that she was facing the middle one. "Down," he said. She crouched down slightly. "Butt lower, hands higher," he instructed then he nodded when he was satisfied. "Now crouch so you got one hand on the ground like a quarter back." He checked her from the side and nodded. He continued, "This is how you're gonna touch the ground. You'll alternate hands because you always want the inside hand to touch. Now you're going to shuffle back and forth between the two ends and you'll touch at each end. Go until I say stop."

Beth acutely remembered doing something like this in gym class and hating it. She took a deep breath and started. Tyreese watched her a couple rounds from each of four sides then told her to stop. "You're agile," he said. "We can work with that." He let her walk it off until she was breathing normally. Sweat was already dripping out of her hair. He put her in front of the middle cone again. "This time we'll do it again but when you reach the middle cone I'll tell you which direction you'll go. This will help me gauge your reaction time." He drilled her switching the directions at the last second.

Finally he let her rest. She got water and he nodded at her. "Sunday we start with you breaking holds." She smiled brightly, mostly because she hadn't thought about Merle for two whole hours.

**Now we know the hold Karen has on Merle and how Beth is trying to handle it. But as we know life in the prison is never predictable...**


	3. Chapter 3 Training

**Sorry for the delay - lots of work and traveling lately. I've also been writing Meth chapters for Daylight by SOA Loving Mom, so be sure to check those out! Let's see what Beth is up to...**

Training

"Oh God, I'm sorry," said Tyreese. He stood with his hands on his knees, his shoulders shaking with laughter. Beth was flat on the ground groaning. He tried to control his laughter. "I'm glad you think it's funny," huffed Beth as she rolled and got to her feet. She rubbed her chest and Tyreese tried to pull himself together. "It's just...you looked like..." New waves of laughter rolled through him as she stood with her hands on her hips waiting for him to finish. Tears rolled out of his eyes. _Why do you always laugh the hardest when you're trying not to?_ he thought.

Upstairs in the tower Rick laughed. He had watched Beth trying some offense with Tyreese. She had rushed him full speed but aimed too high. He straightarmed her to the breastbone and she dropped like a rock. At first Rick had sworn under his breath, "Oh shit." Then he saw Tyreese overcome with laughter and Beth standing to look at him like an angry housewife. Laughs were hard enough to get these days and he indulged himself. It's not like Merle was a great conversationalist and if he had to do watch with him he might as well be entertained. He had watched Tyreese working with beth for a few weeks now and thought she was making good progress. Until today.

Tyreese punched her in the shoulder, just enough to hurt. "Hey, you shake it off," he said. "Rub some dirt on it. You always get up and you always show 'em that it didn't hurt a bit." She spit on the ground and glared at him. "I'm going to get a water bottle," she said with fake indignance, a trace of a smile on her face. She knew she had looked stupid and as she walked to the prison she giggled at the memory of Tyreese shaking with laughter.

Tyreese's laughter rolled up the stairs to the tower. When he got to the top he saw that Merle and Rick were standing opposite of each other, each looking a different direction. Rick turned toward Tyreese and met him with a short laugh. "You leave her in one piece?" he asked. Tyreese wiped his eyes. "She's all right," he said. "Her pride more bruised than anything." Tyreese looked out the window to see that Beth was approaching. "She'll never sneak up on anybody, they'll hear her a mile away. She growls," he said. Rick looked at him, confused. "She growls?"

Tyreese's laughter started again. "Ooo wouldn'ta believed it if I didn't see it. She looks like a pissed off bunny rabbit and sounds like a rabid cheetah." He stifled his laughter when he heard Beth's step on the stairs.

Beth surfaced and looked around. Merle had his back to her which was just fine in her book. Rick looked at her with eyes crinkled. "OK?" he asked. "Shut up," she replied in good humor and walked onto the deck to get a good look at the walkers. At least they didn't laugh at her.

Merle exited the tower without a word. _Fuckin' jig thinks he's smart teachin' her to run around like a football star. I could show her how to kill a guy in thirty seconds._ He thought about wrestling around with Beth then helping her lick her wounds afterwards and he started feeling hot below the belt. His hard on immediately went limp when he saw Karen walking towards him with a big smile on her face.

She beamed at him as she took his arm. "I felt the baby kick this morning", she gushed. "We can go back to my cell and you can feel it!" Merle's jaws flexed as he ground his teeth. "I got things to do," he said dismissively.

She kept telling him about this baby every day but he hadn't seen her belly getting any bigger. When he had mentioned it the previous week she laughed, "I didn't show with Noah until eight months". She kept trying to get him back to her cell but he always refused. He hadn't touched her since he left Woodbury and really had no desire to ever touch her again. _But if that kid is mine I gotta do right by them_, he thought. _That kid is a Dixon_.

He met up with Daryl in the prison yard. "We goin' huntin?" Merle barked. Daryl raised his eyebrows. "Yeah bro," he said hiding his surprise. Merle disentangled himself from Karen and went in to get his gear. Tyreese let them out of the gates while Beth covered them and they slipped into the woods.

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"When did Carol start lookin' pregnant?" Merle asked. Daryl surveyed the area through the sights of his crossbow and saw no immediate threat. "Three or four months without clothes on," he answered. Merle grunted. "What about with clothes?" he asked. Daryl thought back. "When she was four or five months she had to start wearin' my pants and we had to make a run to get her bigger stuff." Merle thought for a moment. "What about her tits?" he asked. Daryl glared at him and warned, "Fuck off."

Normally Merle would have used this opportunity to try to get a description of Carol's tits, but he had no sense of humor at this point. "How did they...when was...fuck, what did they do?" Daryl looked back at him and saw that he was serious. He shrugged. "Changed right away I guess, the first couple months. They got bigger and were...harder I guess. Then they just kept gettin' bigger. After the first three or four months she had to wear Patti's bras, you could tell they was fillin' up. Now with her nursin' she got some Pam Anderson shit goin' on."

Merle looked around with his gun drawn as they walked. He hadn't seen Karen without clothes on since Woodbury. He tried to remember what she looked like. According to her it had been four months since their last time together. He didn't think there was anything different about her except her eating more. Daryl interrupted his thoughts. "Ya think there's somethin' wrong?" he asked. "Have Hershel look at her."

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Beth yawned. The sun was setting and her watch was almost over. She was ready for dinner. She saw Daryl and Merle come out of the woods with rabbits and squirrels over their shoulders. Tyreese had excused himself to use the facilities so she ran down to open the gates. She smiled at them, happy there was meat. The walkers were light and they were able to get to the fence with a minimum of problems. She slid the gate open to let them in then tried to pull it shut but it caught on something. She put her back into it, grunting but her boots slipped on the ground.

A couple of walkers came close and she struggled to close the gate the last few inches. Pissed she yanked it as hard as she could and stuck her ass out for leverage. At the same moment Merle's hand appeared above her head, grasping the fencing and giving it a healthy pull.

Beth stumbled back against his hard chest and her ass pressed against his..._OMG!_ She felt tingling and a flooding of warmth in her most private of areas and she gasped. Beth jumped forward as if she'd been electrically shocked and stood straight and still. She heard the ends of the gate bang together then Merle's voice spoke into her ear. He was so close she could smell him. "It's off track," he said in a gravelly voice and she heard him walk away. She turned her attention to the chain and lock, dodging the walker arms that tried to get through the spaces.

When she was sure they were far enough away she turned to watch his broad back as he walked next to Daryl. She didn't know that Tyreese had returned and saw what happened. Tyreese watched her as she ducked her head and wiped her eyes before taking one last look at Merle's back. He called to her, "Hey I just got back, what did I miss?" Beth struggled to smile while she approached him. "Nothing much," she said.

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Later that week Beth stopped by the Woodbury cellblock to visit Mr. Scruggs. He had started to attend Hershel's Sunday service and Beth was wondering if she could use the guitar to sing gospel those days.

"It's my son's," Mr. Scruggs said. The old man's bent fingers caressed the neck of the guitar as he held it in his lap. "He's coming back for it. I don't want anything to happen to it." Beth understood completely. "When did he give it to you?" she asked gently. He frowned. "The night we left Conyers. I was in the RV with my wife and my daughter in law was drivin'. My son handed me the guitar through the door, was always thinkin' about music. He ran back to get somethin' from the house but then they started comin'...", he trailed off. "Anyway, he'll find me," he said.

Beth nodded and smiled. "Well, at least it's tuned up for him," she said. She patted his hand and rose to leave. He cleared his throat. "What songs you wanta sing?" he asked. Beth named a few of her favorite gospel songs and church hymns. "Would you like to hear them?" she asked. He nodded and she sang one of them for him. He had listened with his eyes closed and a smile on his face. He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Earl won't mind if you borrow it for service," he said. She kissed him on the cheek and said, "You bring it to the service and I'll give it to you when it's over."

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Noah licked his lips as he watched Beth greet people in the cellblock. She had a smile and a kind touch for everyone_. I'll touch her and she'll love it_. He thought back to the glimpse of breast he had stolen before Merle caught him. _Pretty tits. Warm and soft._ Not like the ones on the fresh zombie corpse he had nailed back at Woodbury. She had been older with floppy tits and her twat was cold.

He rubbed himself. _Beth will be warm for me._

**OK everyone, please let me know what you think! I live for the reviews! And I love suggestions!**


	4. Chapter 4 Duplicity

**Let's see Merle and Tyreese at their finest in this chapter...**

Duplicity

Merle fought to contain his temper. He stood in the door of Karen's cell with his arm against the doorjamb. "It's my kid and I wanna know if it's awright," he repeated, his eyes boring into hers. She sidled nervously. "Merle baby, I had no problems with Noah and this baby feels exactly the same. Everything is perfectly fine. Plus, I don't know that man. I heard he's a veterinarian." She was referring to Hershel who Merle insisted conduct an examination.

"Carol'll be with ya," he answered. She wrapped her arms around herself. "I really don't feel comfortable," she said. He snorted. "Well who do ya think is goin' to deliver the thing?" he barked. She smiled at him. "I was hoping you would, wouldn't that be great?" Merle's eyes narrowed and he looked at her icily. "No," he said flatly. "Yer goin' to see him tomorrow. I gotta right to know."

"Of course," she said looking at him through half-lidded eyes. "Sorry, it's the hormones. Hormones make pregnant women do crazy things. We have really strong...urges," she continued while walking towards him. Her eyes traveled from his muscular arms to his broad chest and down to his crotch. She put on a sultry smile. "I'm awfully lonely and could use a little physical attention. Just a little alone time? Like we used to, remember?" She put her hands on his chest and one of his pecs twitched. "You were so good," she breathed. Merle gently caught her wrists and pulled them away from him. "Wouldn't want ta hurt the baby," he said, turning on his heel.

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"Lower girl! Mmmmmmmm that's it. I can work with that!" Tyreese's smooth voice joined Beth's as his finger snapped the beat.

"Wait Uhn uh, stop. Too high too fast girl. Why ya got ta rush it? Nobody goin' nowhere!"

"Tyreese! I just want to sing it!"

"Then you gonna sing it alone. You gotta pull it out from deep inside you."

"Eeergh!"

It was Sunday and it was pouring outside. The prison was warm and humid and the only traffic through the door was for shift changes. A bored Tyreese had approached Beth about singing a duet. "Anybody can sing country," he said. "Gotta be able to SING to do soul." Beth had gladly accepted the challenge.

He sighed. "All right, you got the notes. But that's only part of it. You got to put the SOUL in it. So do it again."

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Merle sat in his cell sharpening his arm blade out of boredom. He was in a vile mood. They didn't have meat and he couldn't hunt in this rain. He was concerned that something was wrong with the baby but wanted nothing to do with its mother. _And that big nigger got his hands all over missy twice a week and now he gotta come here and sing this love song bullshit?_ Even Merle in an honest moment would have to admit that Tyreese was smooth. Women liked him.

He decided he needed some coffee. He put his blade on the bed and walked down the stairs to the kitchen. He made his way to the small stove and warily surveyed the room. He had passed Carol and the baby at nearest table to get to the stove. Daryl as usual wasn't far from Carol, he was at the end of the table sharpening bolts for his crossbow. Rick and Carl stood near the outside door deep in conversation. Beth and Tyreese were at the farthest table near the outside door. Beth was sitting on the tabletop with her feet on the bench facing the cells. Tyreese was sitting sideways on the bench facing her.

They started 'The Closer I Get to You' just as Merle was walking in. Tyreese's voice was like liquid caramel. Beth had her eyes closed for the beginning of the song. When it came to the part she had trouble with Tyreese raised his hand to her face and snapped to make her pay attention. She opened her eyes in surprise and saw Merle walking in before she turned her eyes to Tyreese. She took her time and pulled down deep for the notes and stared at Tyreese's snapping fingers to finish out the song.

"YES! Yes, girl, you nailed IT!" Tyreese hooted. "Now THAT'S some damn soul. Aint no Roberta Flack but girl that was good!" He high-fived her and she laughed. Carol called to her, "Great job Beth and Tyreese, that was really nice!" Merle leaned back against the wall emanating hostility. His face stared straight ahead but his eyes turned to the left to glare at Tyreese. "Y'all gonna keep up with the jungle music all day or do I gotta go stand in the rain for some quiet?"

Tyreese turned slowly and stood up to face Merle from across the room. "Merle," warned Daryl, standing up. Tyreese spoke. "You got a problem with me singin' in here?" he asked in a voice so soft they almost had to strain to hear it. Merle put on a fake smile. "Naw, I was hopin' you'd keep up so we can all run around in grass skirts and bones in our noses. That way we'll look good for all the walkers you're drawin' with your racket."

"Fuck," muttered Daryl. He got between Merle and Tyreese. "Merle! Fucking cut it out! You and me'll go into D and kill some walkers." Merle pushed himself off of the wall to eyeball Tyreese who was approaching him with controlled calm. Tyreese silently studied Merle for a few moments.

"That's right Merle," he said steadily. "I'm a straight up spearchuckin' porch monkey. Give me a drum and I'll play it for you. But you Merle?" Tyreese took a step forward and put his finger in Merle's face. "You the niggah that brought his baby momma here for a little good old fashioned welfare. Knock up a few more around here and you'll be a certified playa. Straight outa Compton."

Merle's eyes flashed with rage and he launched himself at Tyreese. It took Daryl, Rick and Glen to pull him away from Tyreese who maintained Merle's gaze as he calmly backed away. Tyreese wiped the blood off of his lip and turned to the table to make sure Beth was OK. She was gone.

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Beth sighed kicking her feet against the warden's desk. She had felt a flash of excitement when Merle entered the room but she had flinched at his opening words. She quietly retreated to the hallway towards the bathrooms and made her way to the office. _How can I like him so much when he can be so awful? What does that make me? Desperate? And why does it hurt so much?_

She thought about the men at the prison. _Daryl, taken. Daddy, is my daddy. Carl, too young. Noah, ew. Other Woodbury guys, old. Rick, practically my big brother. Tyreese, practically my big brother. Glen, taken. Merle._

She stopped there. Is it just because he's the only one left? There was no doubt in her mind that it was more than that. No one had ever elicited the systemic reaction that she suffered every time she was around him. _The worst part is that he knows it. Wait maybe the worst part is him having a pregnant ex-girlfriend that I have to look at over breakfast every morning. Yes, that would probably qualify as the worst part_.

_I'm going to die a virgin. I wanted babies so bad and my own little family on our farm._

She rifled the desk out of boredom and pulled out some paper and a pencil to take back to her room. _Maybe I'll write my biography_, she thought. _Should only take a few pages_.

She exited not looking down to the far end of the hallway that led to cellblock C therefore she didn't see Noah standing in the shadows watching her.

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Tyreese made his way to his cellblock in the rain to help cool him off after his altercation with Merle. He should have stuck around to find Beth but thought it best to let things cool down. He wanted to make sure she was all right. He'd find her tomorrow.

It didn't escape him that the only time Beth was able to pull out that song was when Merle walked into the room.

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Karen made her way nervously to Hershel's cell. She stopped in the doorway to take in the scene. Carol and Hershel were moving around the tight space like a well-oiled machine. Hershel had a stethoscope around his neck and a headlamp strapped to his forehead. Both beds were made up with clean sheets and several medical instruments lay on one of them. A metal emesis pan held rubbing alcohol to sterilize instruments and a box of latex gloves was on the sink. There was a flashlight next to the instruments and a container of petroleum jelly. It looked as much like a doctor's office as a prison cell could. A clean sheet had been fastened into a makeshift gown and it lay on the opposite bed. Sheets had been hung on the three walls for privacy.

Carol greeted her warmly. "Hi Karen! You must be getting so excited!" Karen smiled and said, "Yes, it's hard to believe!" Carol explained to her that Hershel would leave the room while she undressed and that she would be with her for the entire exam. Soon Karen was gowned and Hershel was reading off her vital signs that Carol recorded in a patient record. Carol rubbed Karen's arm and smiled.

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"Hi Mr. Scruggs," said Beth. "How are you feeling today?" The elderly man shook his head. "Rain's messin' with my arthritis. Hard to move my hands." Beth frowned and asked, "Would you like me to get you some ibuprofen? It might get you through it." He thought for a moment. "That and a cup of coffee," he said. She smiled. "Coming right up!"

Beth retrieved the items noting that Karen was in Hershel's cell for her exam. _I hope she's in labor for two days_, thought Beth bitterly then she mentally berated herself. Karen was only half at fault for this situation. Merle was responsible for the other half. _And. Merle. Is. A. Jerk. Period._

She served Mr. Scruggs and made a round of the cellblock to make sure that no one needed anything. When she came back Mr. Scruggs was more at ease. "I'm feeling much better already," he said. She smiled and collected his coffee cup. He stopped her when she turned to leave. "Miss Beth," he said. Beth turned and smiled at him. He nodded towards the guitar. "Why don't you just keep this with you for Sunday service?" Beth was humbled. "Oh, I can't do that," she said. "It's Earl's and you should keep it." He shook his head. "When Earl get here we'll come and get it." Her eyes filled with tears. "Thank you so much. I promise to take good care of it." He smiled at her and nodded at the guitar again. She carefully picked it up off of the bed and brought it back to her cell where she laid it gently on the spare bed.

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"Yer hell bent on gettin' kicked outta here! What the fuck's yer problem Merle?" Daryl's blood pressure was up. Merle regarded him in mock surprise. "Just lettin' off some steam boy, stirrin' up a little fun is all. Can't stay cooped up forever." Daryl got in his face. "Yeah, you can Merle. And that's what's gonna happen because they're gonna put ya in a cell and I'm not gonna fight for you. Yer bringin' it on your own fool self!"

"Watch it now," threatened Merle. "I'm startin to think yer bein' critical." Daryl exhaled explosively. "You don't get it do you?" he asked. "You get kicked out and I'm not comin' with ya Merle. You'll lose your kid and me. Whatcha gonna have left Merle?" Merle's eyes turned steely. _Little fucker don't sound like he's bluffin' this time_.

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Hershel palpated Karen's breasts while instructing Carol. "Carol, you may remember that there's a period of significant breast mass increase in the first trimester of pregnancy. This is often associated with tenderness, lumps and visualization of veins. You can feel that this tissue is quite a bit firmer than you'd find in a non-pregnant breast." Carol felt the breast carefully and nodded, "Yes, I remember this with Sophia." Hershel continued, "Karen you're in the beginning of the second trimester, have you had issues with tenderness?" Karen answered, "Yes, in the beginning I could hardly stand it if air blew across them." Hershel answered, "That's quite common. Carol, you can see that the nipples are darkened and that there is a darker outer ring around the areola, all common signs in a late first or second trimester pregnancy."

Hershel inquired as to Karen's food and water intake, perceived weight gain and general well-being. All the signs pointed to a healthy pregnancy. Hershel nodded to Carol, "Prepare for the pelvic exam. Though we have the approximate date of conception from the mother we will correlate it with vaginal color, degree of uterus enlargement and cervical changes to get the full picture."

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Beth was folding clean clothes on one of the long kitchen tables when Karen walked swiftly through the kitchen. She was sniffling and reached blindly for the door to exit. Beth frowned. Carol came into the kitchen and sat for a moment with her head in her hands. She looked up at Beth and gave her a sad half-smile then got herself a cup of tea to take back to her cell.

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Hershel caught Merle after dinner. "Merle, may I talk to you in my cell? I can't manage the stairs to get up to the perch." Merle nodded curtly and followed him. "Sit down," said Hershel heavily. He sat down on the bunk opposite and propped his crutches on the bed frame. He ran his hand over his hair and sighed.

"Merle, I examined Karen today and want to discuss her condition with you," started Hershel. Merle rolled his tongue around his mouth and waited. Hershel continued, "I started with a general health screen then gave her a pregnancy exam. Carol assisted throughout the procedure." Merle's eyes flickered but he didn't say anything.

"Overall she's in good health. The breast exam showed signs consistent with an early second trimester pregnancy. The breasts are increasing in size and are making milk. The nipples have darkened and swelled in preparation for nursing. She is experiencing discomfort which is normal with enlargement." He glanced at Merle to make sure he was following.

"I'm afraid that her pelvic exam was another matter. I could find no external evidence of uterus enlargement or tenderness. The color of her vaginal and cervical tissue was bright pink, whereas in the fourth month they should be considerably darkened." He looked up at Merle again who was looking slightly mystified. Hershel said, "I brought these observations to her attention during the exam. She became agitated and defensive. She then told Carol and I that she had experienced a miscarriage after arriving here but was afraid to upset you with the news." Merle's eyes became flinty and he worked his jaw.

"Now Merle, keep in mind that I'm not a medical doctor I'm a veterinarian. However I've diagnosed pregnancies my entire career and other mammals are similar enough to humans that I'm confident of my findings. I re-examined her and found that her cervix was perfectly normal, neither dilated or effaced."

Merle regarded Hershel grimly. "Ya gonna talk English?" he asked. Hershel explained, "The cervix is the small opening between the uterus and the vagina. Sperm have to swim through the opening to get to the egg. Throughout pregnancy the cervix stays tight to protect the baby. Just prior to labor it begins to thin out and open up. During labor muscle contractions open it up all the way to allow the baby to proceed to the vagina and that's the pain associated with childbirth."

Hershel continued, "When a pregnancy is terminated, the fetal tissue has to exit the body - this is a miscarriage. The body purges the tissue by thinning and opening the cervix to allow the remains of the fetus to exit via the vagina. It takes several weeks for the cervix to go back to normal."

Merle raised his eyebrows at Hershel to convey the unanswered question. Hershel sighed. "This phenomenon is commonly seen in non-human mammals, I've seen it countless times in my clinic. With dogs and cats it's a hormonal issue. With humans the cause is psychological. The brain is incredibly powerful and can convince the rest of the body that a pregnancy has occurred. For example it can signal the breasts to lactate even though the uterus is not pregnant. It's what is commonly called a false pregnancy."

Hershel leaned forward and put his hand on Merle's knee. "I'm sorry Merle but Karen was never pregnant with your child."

**Coming up next: Merle confronts Karen and Beth tries more offense. Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5 - Creamed

**Hi All! Time to check in on our prison folk!**

Creamed

It was morning and Merle stood in the doorway of Karen's cell. She was lying in her bunk with her back to the door and didn't know he was there. He saw that her shoulders were shaking and her knees were pulled into her chest. "Karen," he barked. She jumped and sat up to face him. "Hi," she said. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying all night. His grey eyes bored into her. "Why?" was all he asked.

She sat up slowly and collected herself. "I don't know," she said looking down at her lap. "I've been trying to figure it out all night. I really thought I WAS, you know..." She didn't want to say the word. She sighed painfully. "I guess way deep down I needed somebody. Somebody to take care of me, to protect me, to love me. And to be able to give them something precious in return, something that would keep us together. I wanted it to be you. Me and you and Noah and the baby..." The last words came out as a whisper and she looked at him pleadingly. "It still could be Merle. You liked me well enough in Woodbury. We could start over, pretend like none of this happened." His eyes flickered between hers and the floor. When he didn't reply she continued.

"I feel like I really did lose a baby. I feel like it died and it's my fault. I really thought that it existed. Is that crazy?" she asked looking up at him and holding her stomach. He grimaced and rubbed his face with his hand. "Not in this world," he finally said. The rage inside of him was bubbling but well under control. He'd get his release later.

"I don't want no more of this," he said gesturing between her and him. "I'll work with you when I hafta but that's it." Her face crumpled and she nodded. "I don't blame you," she said softly and she turned back to lie in her bunk.

Merle turned to find Daryl. He needed to hunt.

Merle didn't shoot any game. He killed walkers with his arm blade one after the other. He even tried tracking them to find more. When he was exhausted he looked at Daryl and nodded. They checked their snares and at twilight they went back to the prison.

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Days later Merle brought in a string of squirrels just in time for his turn on solo watch. He took the squirrels to Carol for skinning then made his way to the catwalk. He had been more irritable than usual this week. Of course the news of Karen's false pregnancy had spread like wildfire through the camp and everyone thought that they needed to say something to him. He hated the look of pity in their eyes. His best recourse was to hide and when he couldn't hide to be so formidably angry they stayed away.

He mounted the steps and took his usual post. When he heard boots on the stairs he snarled and snapped his head towards the noise. Beth was standing there with a bowl of hot oatmeal and a cup of coffee. She gave him a half smile and he grunted in reply. "You didn't get breakfast", she said gracefully putting the bowl and cup down next to him. She turned to leave then had a second thought. "Merle," she said turning towards him. He stopped and looked at her. She lifted her eyes to his and said, "I don't quite know what to say except...well, I'm sorry for your loss. It must have been very hard for you." He bristled and caustic words formed on his tongue but when he looked into her eyes he saw only concern. He nodded curtly and resumed his watch.

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Beth hated it most when he laughed. She wiped the sweat out of her eyes and glowered at Tyreese who had again stopped her dead in her tracks. She picked herself up off the ground and plotted his death. He could see that she was really mad and it made him laugh harder. She decided that next time she would bite him. Hard.

"Again," she insisted. He shook his head. "You should rest. We got watch soon." She gritted her teeth and shifting her weight from side to side. "I want to try again. Now." Tyreese cautioned her with a pointing finger, "You got your back up girl and that's the best way to lose a fight. You pissed off and that isn't going to help you right now."

Glen was standing in the tower with Rick discussing problems with the generator and they were both watching the show. Merle as usual silently occupied the opposite side of the tower with his back to them. The conversation paused as Glen and Rick both laughed. "She's really giving it to him," said Glen. "What do you think they're saying?" Rick laughed. "I don't know but it's probably a good thing Hershel's not around."

"You promised you'd help me. If some stranger has me and is threatening my family I'M GOING TO BE MAD!" yelled Beth in an uncharacteristic display of temper. Tyreese put his hands up in mock defeat. "Fine," he said. "You want to hit me you go head. But all that anger isn't going to do you any good." Beth crouched down, getting lower to the ground than Tyreese could. She shuffled and feinted and he pivoted to face her attack. Finally she growled and threw herself at him and got stuffed in the process. She rolled like a cat and stood up to face him, winded and even angrier.

"That's it," said Tyreese with finality. "When you start growling I know you've lost it. You go inside and clean up and when we're in the tower I'll tell you what you can do to get around that block." He turned his back on her and began to walk away.

"Looks like he's cutting her off and she's still pissed," said Glen, turning back to Rick. Rick kept his eyes on the field. "Uh oh," he said.

"I'll fix his 'growling'," thought Beth. She sped towards Tyreese's back silently on light feet then launched herself at his knees.

"Whoa!" yelled Glen and Rick in unison. "She took him down!" Then they both shouted, "OHHHHHHHHH!" in the same tone that one hears with a Nascar wreck or an accident at an airshow. "Oh shit," said Glen. "She's hurt," said Rick, "Merle, take watch!" and they both clattered down the stairs.

Tyreese had been completely shocked when he felt his knees knocked out from under him and he reacted by twisting towards his attacker and in the process fell sideways with his full weight on the outstretched body of Beth. He tried to roll off of her but his legs were bent backwards under her and he just managed to crush her more between his upturned feet and his upper body.

She was sure that she was dead. He had completely knocked the wind out of her and she could only inhale. She flopped on the ground like a dying fish loudly sucking in air. She tasted blood from her face being smashed into the ground. She could feel the treadmark of Tyreese's tennis shoe on her face. Rick and Glen's voices were above her and someone pulled her shoulder and flipped her on her back. She squinted in the bright sunshine still inhaling uncontrollably and marveled when her head became light and the world started to spin.

Merle looked out the tower window and saw Beth writhing on the ground. The three men were squatting around her peppering her with questions. She took a deep breath and her chest loosened. She coughed and rolled to her side in the fetal position and vomited in the grass then rolled to the other side sucking air and coughing. Rick rolled her onto her back and yelled, "Beth, can you talk?" Beth grimaced in pain and answered "Argheowwwww".

Merle's lip curled as he grasped his gun. He wanted to shoot every one of those fuckers down there starting with Tyreese and he wanted to be there with her. He saw her roll to her back and lay spreadeagled on the ground with her chest heaving. Rick was talking to her and it looked like she answered. He saw Rick touch her shoulder and gently feel her ribs and he saw her body jerk in pain. Rick rubbed her shoulder for a while and it appeared that she spoke. Glen and Tyreese stood up and Beth's arms shot straight up in a sign of victory. He saw the three men laugh and gently pull her up. Glen and Rick helped her walk up to the prison while Tyreese made his way sheepishly to the tower.

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Tyreese trudged up the steps to the tower. He had become close enough to Beth to be protective of her and he felt bad about today's events. He came to the top of the steps to see Merle standing ramrod straight watching the fence. Tyreese checked his gun to make sure it was loaded and told Merle, "You can go, I got it until she comes back." Merle turned his head enough to see him out of the corner of his eye and replied, "I best stay til somebody who knows how ta shoot gets here."

Tyreese flared. "Yeah. Well that's why I got the shotgun. All I gotta do is point."

The corner of Merle's mouth turned up. "I guess you was in the mood to show that little girl who's boss. Make ya feel strong beatin' the shit outta her?" Tyreese swiftly walked to Merle and stood face to face with him. "No Merle, as a matter of fact I feel pretty damned terrible about it. If I would've known she was going to hit me from behind I would have stopped it before it started. She was pissed off and she shouldn't have pushed it. And I don't need you to remind me of what happened as a result. It could have happened to anybody that was working with her."

Merle sneered. "Working with her? That what you callin' it?" His eyes were half lidded and they bored into Tyreese's like ice. Tyreese paced to cool off. He really didn't want a fight. He returned to Merle and put his finger in Merle's face. Merle's head jerked back slightly and his lip curled. Tyreese spoke in controlled tones. "Yeah, I hurt her physically today, it was completely unintentional. Then again Beth's an adult and she knew the risks when she started. Too bad she don't know the same about you."

Merle's eyes narrowed and Tyreese nodded. "Uh huh. I see you break her heart almost every day, you like a cat with a mouse. That poor girl so in love with your sorry ass she can't see straight and you know it. You walk in the room and she lights up. And what does she get for it?" Merle's cheek twitched but his gaze didn't waver.

This time Tyreese's lip curled. "I guess there's no accounting for taste. But I will tell you one thing. When you use her up there will be people there for her and I'll be one of them. Maybe then she'll be ready to be treated like the lady she is."

Merle's neck corded and he was set to strike when a cheerful, "Hi guys!" rang out. Carol walked into the tower with a perky smile and said, "I'm taking Beth's watch." Tyreese backed away from Merle. "How is she?" he asked. Carol smiled. "Hershel said there's nothing broken but she'll be sore for a while. She's worried that you're angry with her so make sure you see her tonight." She turned to look at Merle and he left the tower to work on the generator.

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The first week Beth was pretty stiff but did her best not to show it. Tyreese had shown up that night and popped her on the shoulder. "You did good girl. You rub some dirt on it and suck it up OK?" She had laughed and hit him back on the shoulder, wincing with pain which made her laugh more. Gradually the bruises faded and she was able to return to full activity minding the baby, making food, going on watch and cleaning guns. She didn't like the cut on her lip but shrugged it off by thinking _It's not like anyone's waiting around to kiss me. I might as well look tough._

She and Carol continued their daily visits to the Woodbury cellblock to check on everyone. She usually brought the guitar and sang for Mr. Scruggs. Every time she saw him he seemed skinnier to her, like he was slowly fading away. Some days he conversed with them about different subjects and other days he was confused and asking about Earl. Beth worried about him because he was alone in the world. She thanked God again for the gift of her family.

Usually when she'd get ready to leave she'd see Noah staring her. She always smiled and nodded and sometimes even tried to talk to him but it made him nervous and he faded into the background. His eyes glowed when he watched her walk away. She didn't know about the worn set of her panties he had stolen from the laundry room to stroke himself with at night. _You know you like touching me_ he thought.

Merle hadn't eaten with her since the false pregnancy diagnosis, in fact Beth barely saw him. She knew he wasn't with Karen because she was seen moping around a lot in the Woodbury cellblock. He usually left early in the morning to hunt and was one of the last into the cellblock at night when Beth was dropping off or already asleep. She didn't know where he was at night because Daryl was usually back and with Carol at that time. The few times she and Merle ate in the kitchen at the same time he sat off to himself and ate as fast as he could. Sometimes she looked up to see him staring at her. She usually smiled back then looked down at her plate. He obviously didn't want to be bothered. She had seen enough of Carol's struggles with Daryl to know to leave him be.

On one of those occasions Rick made an announcement. "We've got to go on a run," he said to the group. "Besides baby supplies we're dangerously low on batteries and canned goods. I want to try the box store to the east of us. There's been heavy walker activity there in the past but that store's our best bet for getting all those things in one place. I doubt that it's been looted because it's too big and dangerous. We'll need to do it in two phases: kill walkers first then get supplies Merle's got good ideas on how to pull this off." Rick looked around at the people who usually went on runs. "Daryl, Maggie, Glen, Merle, Michonne. Think you can do it?" They all nodded.

_A run!_ Beth was excited. Before she had rescued Merle she had volunteered for a run and Rick had voted her down citing her lack of experience. He said that if she proved herself she could go on the next one. Surely by now between the Woodbury rescue and all the hard work she'd put in with Tyreese she was experienced enough.

"I'll go," Beth volunteered. Everyone turned to look at her in surprise. "I'd like to go," she said. Everyone looked around nervously. Rick fidgeted and said, "How about next time Beth? They're really going to have their hands full with this one." Beth stood straighter. "You told me that I could go on the next run. I've been practicing and I'd like to go."

She could see that her daddy was shaking his head at Rick and that Rick was clearly between the rock and the hard place. Carol spoke up, "Though I don't like it either you did say that she could go next time Rick." Beth turned to her and smiled. Rick ran his hand through his hair and said, "That was when we knew where the governor was. Now he's out there somewhere and could strike anytime. We need people here too. Beth how about staying here and protecting our position?"

Beth narrowed her eyes. "Why can't one of them stay?" she asked, looking at the chosen ones. Daryl snorted at her and Rick replied, "We need their skills out there Beth."

Merle spoke up. "She kilt a guy in Woodbury and took out walkers along the way." Beth glanced at him gratefully then looked at Rick expectantly. Hershel broke the silence. "I will not have both of my daughters out on the same run. If something happens Rick..." he left the sentence unfinished. Beth smiled. "Good, then Maggie can stay!"

Rick shook his head. "I'm sorry Beth we need Maggie out there. My decision is that this time you have to stay. When we neutralize the situation with the governor we'll send you out."

Beth gaped at him. She couldn't believe this. He had _promised_. Even Carl and Maggie were looking at her with a superior form of pity. She had one hundred comebacks for this moment and they all bottlenecked in her throat. They choked her and her face got hot with anger. She shook her head. She looked at Hershel and he was looking at her sternly. _Like I'm some little kid asking for chocolate milk at the store._ Everyone was staring at her like she was a train wreck happening in slow motion. She was horrified when the tears of anger started pooling in her eyes. It was the exact opposite of what she needed to show them to be worthy of their respect.

She turned and walked to the kitchenette to grab the key ring off the wall then walked between them and out the door. She ignored the concerned questions that followed her as she left. _It's none of your business where I'm going,_ she thought. _Because the ultimate answer is 'nowhere'._ She heard her father cautioning the others to let her go.

She went in through the loading dock to the roof entrance. These areas had been cleared but she kept her knife out just in case. She was supposed to be watching the baby but she didn't care. _Let Rick or Carl watch their baby,_ she thought. _She's really not my responsibility._ She paced for a while clenching and unclenching her hands then sat down to hug her legs into her chest and lose herself in the trees and the sky. She missed the farm so badly that it physically hurt. The sun was molten orange when it dipped below the tree line and peeked through the holes in the canopy.

_Time to go back_, she thought. She stood up and dusted herself off. She had a plan.

She looked up to see Maggie standing by the door watching her. Maggie had an expression of pity on her face. Beth walked past her without breaking eye contact. She wasn't going to back down on this.

**Hmmmm...Beth has a plan! Please remember that while Beth is normally pretty quiet she still is a teenager who wants to be treated like an adult. In the ZA world that's a pretty strong motivator for acting out. Plus being in love with someone who really isn't very nice and being consistently physically dominated by a good friend would feed into rebellious behavior.**

**I will be out of country for the next couple weeks, I will do my best to post.**


	6. Chapter 6 Shopping

**Apologies to anyone who read this before 5:15pm CST in the U.S. - I uploaded it without a section! Stupid cut and paste! So I'm reposting. Enjoy!**

Shopping

They all woke early so the party could go out at first light. Beth dutifully helped them load up vehicles by carrying ammo boxes, weapons and water bottles. At one point when she straightened up from placing supplies in a car Merle was standing next to her. She lifted her face to look at him and his expression was unreadable. "Please come back," she said tucking a wayward piece of hair behind her ear. She was surprised when his thumb came up to stroke her chin. "Ain't nothin' gonna happen to me angel," he said. His hand dropped down to his side when Daryl came around the corner with cases of crossbow bolts and Beth went inside to help get breakfast out to them. She sighed, her skin still feeling his touch. _Nothing more than a friend comforting a friend_, she thought. _I'm just a little girl to him._

Finally they were loaded and ready. She hugged and kissed Maggie and Glen asking them to be careful. She helped open the inner gate to get them on their way. When they were gone she turned back to the prison. Time to change and feed Judith then she would hand her off to Carol to implement her plan.

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She peered through the dusty window of the old truck. The vinyl upholstery and the dashboard were split in many places from the heat. The rearview mirror was missing and there were rust holes throughout the body. _Beggars can't be choosers_, she thought. There were a few tires in the bed that she piled up and covered with a tarp. She had thrown water bottles and granola bars in it during the commotion of getting everyone else loaded. The keys were in the ignition. She was ready.

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She beamed at Noah when he came down from the outer tower. "Hi!" she said. "Rick told me to dump these deer skins and bones on the north side." Noah frowned. "I'm not supposed to let anybody out." Her face was filled with understanding. "Oh, I know what happened. It was because of the run. He forgot to tell y'all in the tower that I was coming through. I should have reminded him. It's my fault." She smiled sweetly while her stomach turned.

"I should probably come with you," he said. She gulped. "Actually," she said. "I need somebody quick and strong to open the gate for me on the way back in. You're the first one I thought of." Noah's chest puffed a little and he agreed to man the gate. Beth held her breath until the gate was locked behind her then she drove away.

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She pulled to the side of the road and examined the pilfered map. Woodbury was to the east as was the box store where the rest of the group was. South was Atlanta, way too many walkers. They had looted quite a few small stores to the west already. As far as she knew north was less inhabited and largely unexplored. She headed north.

She kept her eyes open for any sign of vehicles moving and pulled off into wooded places when she was being cautious. She saw nothing except walkers moving. She kept track of her progress on the map. She absolutely could not get lost or they would never take her seriously again.

Beth was a veteran shopper. If there was a strip mall or shoe store within ten miles she could find it using The Force. She looked at the map and took a deep breath. Time to trust her instincts. She travelled about fifteen miles carefully making her way past blocked roads and backing up and rerouting when she saw herds of walkers. The old truck was dependable but slow. She wished there was a radio station working but sighed with pleasure when a large strip mall presented itself on the edge of a town.

She approached cautiously. The stores looked really promising and she was excited. She pulled into the parking lot and a small army of walkers poured from behind the building. She put the truck in drive and reluctantly drove away. Getting killed definitely wasn't going to prove anything.

It was around ten AM when she came across a smaller town. She took side streets to avoid the main drag. The walker activity was steady but not overwhelming. She found a strip mall at the south end of the main street. Across the street were a pharmacy and a convenience store. She had found her site.

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She parked behind the strip mall so she could try the back entrances and avoid the majority of walkers that were wandering the street. The truck had already drawn attention so she needed to move quickly. She made sure that her gun was on her and her knife was unsheathed. She opened the door and slipped into one of the stores.

Radio Shack. She wrinkled her nose. Not her top choice but probably good things here for mechanical stuff. She expected lots of walkers and she was right. She systematically made her way through the store. Luckily they were pretty spread out and she was able to dispatch most of them one at a time with her knife. She had trouble with the two clerks in their white shirts, pocket protectors and black pants. They came at her together and she backed slowly, looking around to make sure she was clear behind. One ran into a display of tablet computers and got held up so she was able to hit the first one in the eye and get the second one through the skull. She crept slowly around the store. Nothing else was moving. Her muscles ached but her adrenaline was high. She grabbed some garbage bags from the register and stuffed as many batteries as she could in them on her way to the front door. She was going to lock it when she heard voices outside.

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_Men's voices and none that I know. _She placed the garbage bags next to the large garbage can by the register and moved back into the back office. There were a couple computers, a corporate inspirational poster, a girlie calendar and a sign announcing that 'I don't work on days that end with Y'. There was a kitchenette with a sink, a coffee pot and a microwave, and upper and lower cabinets. A walker came at her and she dodged, pushing him out the door and shutting it behind him.

She darted into the cabinet under the sink and curled up in the corner so that the shadows hid her. Within minutes she heard men's voices. One sounded Hispanic. "Most of the fuckin' batteries are cleaned out, somebody got here before us." Another voice possibly African American replied, "Martinez, there's still lots of stuff though. Fuses and solar shit." Martinez commented sarcastically, "Yeah, the Governor's really concerned with goin' green."

"Newbie!" yelled Martinez. She heard boots running and a young man's Southern voice reply, "Yessir." "Take out that walker and clear the office." Beth heard the sound of a gunshot and a body hitting the floor then the door opened. She scrunched into a tighter ball and held her breath. Through the open cabinet door she saw a pair of legs dressed in jeans and scuffed cowboy boots walk past. A long dagger fastened to a pole hung from his grip. She heard him mutter, "I ain't pawin through these fuckin' cabinets." She heard the cabinet on the end open and the _thunk_ of the knife sinking into the wall behind it. "Ain't nobody in here no how," she heard him mutter.

_Oh God_, she thought. He systematically opened the cabinets and thrust the knife in to each so he wouldn't have to bend down to look. She put her ponytail in her mouth and bit down. When his legs appeared in front of her partially open door she held her breath. _Thunk_ the knife went into the wall on the other side of the U joint for the sink. She breathed a small sigh of relief. She heard the squawk of a walkie-talkie. The governor's voice sounded, "Martinez? Reconnaissance report." Martinez's voice sounded next. "We're in a strip mall on the south side of that town that's about 3 miles from camp. We haven't made it to the other town yet. We got held up because newbie puked every time we made him take out a walker. Pussy'll still only shoot 'em, he hasn't used the knife."

"Well get him some practice before you get back or don't bring him back," the Governor barked and signed off. "God I fuckin' hate those assholes," muttered the boy and the knife thunked into the wall next to Beth. She stifled a scream and looked down as he wrestled it out of the wall. She saw blood on the blade and followed the knife's trajectory in the dim light. She bit down on her ponytail when she saw the blood blooming on the side of her jeans.

She was startled by the sounds of the office door opening and tables and chairs skidding around on the floor. "Sink or swim Newbie!" came the African American voice. The moans of zombies followed and the boy screamed. He shot randomly until his clip ran out, he was yelling and praying. He banged on the door. "Let me out! Please I'll do anything!" He tried the door and it opened easily. There were three walkers on the other side. He went down screaming then was silent.

Beth hid her face in her knees, her hands on her hip to staunch the flow of fresh blood. She heard the walkers tearing into flesh. Martinez's voice rang out. "Davis you ready?" Davis' voice replied, "Yeah. Want me to get his radio?" Martinez answered, "No, I gave him the shitty one anyway." They both laughed and their voices became fainter. "We'll come back with more guys in a few days and get all this stuff."

She waited thirty minutes to be sure that they had left. She pulled the gun out of the back of her pants and eased the safety off. She emerged from the cabinet quietly and gritting her teeth against the pain in the side of her leg. Quickly she shot the three walkers and walked out into the store. The governor's men had gone and taken all the fuses with them. She saw that they had not looked in the garbage bags that they assumed held garbage. She picked up the boy's walkie-talkie and shoved it in the back of her pants then grabbed a couple packages of new walkie-talkies and batteries and put them in the garbage bags. She also grabbed a shortwave radio on the way out. The exit of Martinez and Davis had attracted walkers to the front of the store and they were starting to open the door so she grabbed her two garbage bags, opened the back door and threw the bags in the bed of the truck.

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Carol stuck her head into Hershel's cell curiously. "Have you seen Beth?" she asked. Hershel's eyebrows raised. "I was going to ask you the same thing," he said. Carol looked stumped. "Well maybe she's in the tower. I'll go check."

Carol was back twenty minutes later. "Hershel, I'm worried. Beth's nowhere to be found. Where did she go the other night when she was angry?" Hershel thought for a moment. "Maggie said she was on the roof," he said. "Can you go look?"

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Beth slipped into the juniors clothing store next to Radio Shack. The walkers here were almost all women except for one former older man that still appeared to be holding his wife's purse. Because the walkers were excited by the smell of fresh blood she had to use her gun a lot more than she would have liked but after about forty five minutes and one terrifying incident of being caught in a corner by three of them it was cleared. Thank God for the conditioning Tyreese had put her through. She made a mental note to kiss him when she got back. She sat on the floor to shake off the dizziness that had come upon her and soon she felt better.

She looked around the store and found a new pair of shorts in her size. She locked the front and back doors and stripped off her bloody jeans. The gash was about five inches long on the outside of her upper thigh. It gaped open and she decided she didn't want to know how deep it was. She found bottled water in the office and used it to wash the wound with dish soap, hissing when it stung her. She tore a new T-shirt into strips and padded the wound with new socks. She wrapped the strips tightly around her leg then put on the shorts and her boots. Now she was ready to shop.

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Carol ran to Hershel's cell. "Hershel,' she said urgently. "Noah says that Beth left in a truck and hasn't come back."

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Beth threw the bags into the back of the truck and slipped into the shoe shop next door. It was darker in there than the other stores and she had to move quickly. In ten minutes she had killed the walkers that were in her aisle and got what she needed.

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Tyreese and Sasha were poised to fly. "Hershel, do you know which way she could have gone?" asked Sasha. Hershel shook his head, handing Judith off to a very worried Carol. Hershel looked like he had aged ten years. "Noah said she was going north." Tyreese nodded and said, "We'll follow her in the squad car." Carl protested, "We can't do that, it's the only vehicle left. What if we have to escape?" Hershel was sitting on his bunk with his head in his hands. Out of habit he reached for his bible and when he opened it a piece of paper fell out. In neat loopy letters it read, _Daddy I will be back home tonight. Don't worry and don't risk sending anyone out. I need to do this. I love you always, Beth._ Tears sparkled in Hershel's eyes. "I hate to say it," he said. "But I think sending someone else out right now would be foolish. For all we know she could have caught up with the others. I think we should wait until they return."

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Beth parked the truck in the shade. She had driven into a wooded area outside of town so she could rest. She gulped water and ate two granola bars. The walker activity at the strip mall had become heavier so she left in the hopes that they would disperse. It was three o' clock in the afternoon and it would be evening before she knew it. She waited until three thirty then headed back into town. The walkers were lighter and she parked at the back of the convenience store. She parked the truck at the gas pumps so it wouldn't draw attention in case the governor's men came back. She looked longingly at the pharmacy but decided to nix that plan. Getting dead was not going to help her case.

She scoped the convenience store parking lot and gasped when she saw the brand new extended cab dually pickup parked in front. It was midnight black with grey cloth interior, lots of chrome and a flaming Ford sticker in the back window. She crouched and shuffled as best she could across the parking lot over to the driver's side. She thoroughly inspected it - the truck was empty and keys were in the ignition. She tried the driver's side door and it opened.

She jumped when a hand clutched her shoulder and wheeled around. A male walker was leaning in to take a bite out of her neck. Her heart stopped and she screamed, shoving it back then jumping on it and sinking her knife in its eye. She leaped up and took two more out that were close. She leaped into the truck and sobbed. _I can't get distracted again. I almost died over a truck_, she thought. Her heart hammered in her chest and she took slow deep breaths. Soon her heart slowed and she looked around. _A truck that still has the new car smell_, she thought.

She turned the key and the engine started right up, purring like a kitten. And then suddenly - music! She looked around in surprise. There was an iPod connected to the USB port of the stereo. She made her mind up right there that she was coming back with this truck. She looked for human activity and finding none carefully pulled the new truck to the gas pumps where it took her less than a minute to transfer the bags from the bed of the old one into the bed of the new.

She wanted to get into the convenience store to get medical supplies and food. She made sure her clip was full and quietly entered the service door in the back. She found herself in a stockroom full of cases of inventory. She peeked into the store and her heart jumped into her throat. It was packed full of walkers. As quietly as she could she closed and locked the door between the stockroom and the store. She'd have to make due with the stuff in boxes. She surveyed the area and took out two former convenience store workers and a former soda delivery guy then she quietly opened the back door to scope the area near the truck. Clear. She needed to work fast. She started ripping open boxes and tossing things into the center of the room. When she had a pile she threw the stuff into boxes. Now to get the boxes into the truck.

As she worked an intense weariness came upon her and she noticed the blood running down her leg and into her boot. She looked around the stockroom and found a first aid kit mounted on the wall. She cleaned off the wound and butterflied it the best she could then searched through the boxes some more until she found a case of gauze and a case of adhesive bandages. She wrapped it and taped it hoping that it would hold.

At that point she realized that she was exhausted and she had to get back. She had lost the anger that had been feeding her and now she wanted to get back to safety. She needed to be with her people. She summoned the last of her resolve and peeked out of the back door. She gasped in fear. About twenty walkers had congregated near the door, drawn by her blood trail. She quickly shut and locked the door.

_What do I do? I'm almost out of bullets._ She sank against the wall to a sitting position keeping her hurt leg straight. She closed her eyes and dozed for a few moments. When she jerked awake she remembered what Andrea had once told them about camouflaging human smells with zombie smells. She looked at the dead walkers on the floor and cringed.

When she had cut open the corpses and thoroughly covered herself with gore she stood up. She looked at the bandage on her bare leg and grimaced. There was definitely fresh blood soaking through. She cried as she rubbed the gore into the bandage. Finally she took down her hair and worked the gore thoroughly into it sobbing the whole time.

_Time to buck up and get home Bethy_, she told herself. She took a deep breath and said a quick prayer then she opened the back door.

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It was late afternoon and the convoy returned, disappointed with their failure to clear all the walkers from the store. They knew something was wrong by the way people ran to the gate when they were sighted.

"What do you mean is Beth with us?" asked Rick incredulously. Carl and Carol were at the outer gate anxiously scanning the vehicles in the convoy. Carol explained and Rick gaped at her. "She LEFT? On her own? BETH?!"

Daryl, Michonne and Maggie hopped out of the passenger seats of their cars and joined the conversation. Maggie fell to her knees. "GLEN! Oh my God, this is all my fault. I should have let her go with us. Oh God she's going to die out there by herself. We've got to get her!" Michonne grabbed her arm. "Hey," she said. "She's been training with Tyreese. She's tougher than you think. She's alright." Daryl swore and kicked the fence repeatedly. "FUCK!" he yelled. "Fuck fuck FUCK!" He punched the fence and wheeled around to face Rick. "We gotta go after her."

"That's the problem," said Carol, crying. "We have no idea where she went."

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Beth walked slowly among the herd holding the last box of supplies. When she got to the truck she slowly placed it in the bed and made her way to the drivers side. She put the floor mat on the seat so she wouldn't stain it and slowly got in. Breathing a sigh of relief she quickly shut and locked the door, threw it in drive and used it as a battering ram to mow down walkers in the lot. It was early evening and she only had about an hour and a half of light left.

When she got out of town she jumped out of the truck and grabbed some stuff out of miscellaneous boxes. She brought them into the front seat with her and looked at them proudly. Baby wipes. Taffy. Mountain Dew. Lemon drops. Fritos. Menthol cigarettes. She wiped her face and hands off with the wipes then opened the packages and put the truck into drive.

When she was a few miles from the prison she looked in the rearview mirror and sighed. It was petty and vain but she couldn't return like this. She kept her eyes peeled for water and eventually came upon a house with several brimming rain barrels near the garden. She parked, took her clothes off and grabbed the strawberry shampoo and soap that she had taken from the strip mall. When she ascertained that the coast was clear she submerged herself in one of the barrels and started scrubbing.

Beth started the truck feeling a million times better. She clicked on a heavy metal playlist and laughed when the screaming guitars poured through the speakers. She normally wouldn't listen to this but today it somehow fit. She lit a menthol cigarette and took a drag. _It's a good day for me to learn to smoke_, she thought. She looked at herself in the rearview mirror while she smoked and laughed at how funny she looked which ended up making her cough like crazy. She took a few more puffs and shotgunned a Mountain Dew. Her head became light and she laughed again.

As she approached the prison she began to feel a little sick to her stomach, likely the combination of gorging on junk food, drinking too much caffeine, smoking for the first time and being scared to death at the reception she'd get at the prison. She put the cigarette in the ashtray and turned the headlights on. It was twilight and the prison lights shone ahead of her.

**OK, now that I have the whole story up, please let me know what you think about our bethy!**


	7. Chapter 7 Aftermath

**Hi Everyone, I'm back from Central America where I thought about Meth all the time! I'll do my best to update. This one is a bit short...**

Aftermath - Shopping

Merle watched through the rearview mirror as Carl closed the outer gate. The gate jammed in the same place that it did for Beth last time but Carl was able to jerk it back on track. When Daryl jumped out Merle got out and took out a few walkers on the other side of the fence with his arm blade out of sheer frustration for the day's run. He was pissed. They simply hadn't had enough people to clear the box store. He was pleased when they'd secured all the entrances so no more walkers could enter but in the end they had just managed to corral them inside. Completely clearing the store was a job for another day.

They came home with formula and batteries to last them at least a couple of weeks but that was it. Luckily none of them were seriously hurt though Glen had twisted an ankle and Rick was bruised up from a shelving unit tipping on him. Now the race was on to make sure that no one got in there to loot it before they could get back.

Carl was blabbing something to him about taking out the squad car when Merle turned to see Maggie falling apart and Daryl beating the shit out of the fence. Rick was squatting next to Daryl with his head in his hands. Merle strode towards the commotion and his heart gave a little jump when he heard Maggie screaming Beth's name. His mind's eye saw her gentle blue eyes looking up at him. "She get bit?" Merle bellowed. Daryl appeared next to him sidling angrily, "She fuckin' took off. Been gone all day and nobody knows what direction she took." Maggie was crying on Glen's shoulder. "It's all my fault," she sobbed. "At least if she would have come with us she wouldn't be alone!"

Carol was at Daryl's side and repeated the information for Merle and Glen. "She told Noah she was going north but we have no proof that she really went that way. She left a note in Hershel's bible saying she'd be back and not to look for her. We hoped that maybe she caught up with you all." Merle ground his teeth in anger. The light was almost gone for the day. Once the sun went down her chances of survival would drop precipitously. He turned to Daryl and jerked his head towards the gate. He and Daryl would head north. Michonne joined in and decided that she would accompany Rick and Glen west. Maggie went into the prison to comfort Hershel.

Merle swung into the drivers seat and turned the car around to face the fence. He thought of all the times he'd hurt Beth either unintentionally or on purpose. He saw her face freeze in shock when Karen told her about the pregnancy and the concern in her eyes when she tried to comfort him after the diagnosis. How her eyes sparkled when he made her laugh at his stories. How she looked at him when she thought he wasn't watching, all admiration and desire and...respect. How desire rose in her eyes when he teased her. His foot hit the accelerator.

Suddenly his head cleared and he could hear what was going on around him. "I said where the FUCK ya goin' Merle?" yelled Daryl. Merle snarled, "To find her." He swung the car around the corners and guessed on the side roads she may have taken. They were out about twenty minutes when they came across headlights shining at them.

Beth saw the car swerve around the corner and knew she couldn't get away. She prayed the car was from the prison but kept the truck in drive just in case she had to gun it to get away. The car turned and blocked her path and Merle and Daryl got out, weapons aimed at her. She sighed in relief and waved out the window.

Merle yelled something to Daryl and approached the driver's side in military fashion. He rose under the driver's side window and looked through his gunsight and Beth was sitting in the driver's seat. He rose up and grabbed the arm that hung outside of the window. "Anybody else with ya?" he yelled as he scanned the truck. It appeared to be empty on the inside and the back was half full with boxes.

"No," said Beth breathlessly. Her eyes were huge as she looked back at him through his sight. "Goddammit missy!" he yelled, dropping his gun. He glowered at her. "I don't know whether to turn ya over mah knee or hug ya. The FUCK ya think ya doin'?" She looked through the windshield at Daryl who was running towards them. She looked around the cab at her spoils. She was not going to wilt into the background. "I went on a run," she said softly, looking at Merle over her shoulder. "I lost track of time." She did her best to look at him steadily.

Merle weaved a continuous stream of profanity that seemed to last about five minutes. _Lookin at me so calm when everybody in the county's out lookin for her. Coulda lost her_ he seethed_._ Finally he turned to Daryl. "She's alone, I'm goin' with her," he said, swinging into the truck bed. Daryl nodded and jogged back to the car. Together they drove to the prison.

The gates opened and they were allowed inside. Merle and Daryl motioned for access to the courtyard and they passed easily into the compound. Rick, Glen and Michonne had already returned and were waiting in the prison yard. There most of the prison inhabitants were waiting including Maggie and Glen.

When Beth pulled up Merle jumped out and pulled open the driver's side door. Four empty Mountain Dew cans rolled out and landed on the concrete. There was a pile of candy wrappers on the passenger side floor and open boxes of taffy and suckers on the bench seat next to her. A gooey Ding Dong wrapper was stuck to the dashboard and honey roasted peanuts were rolling around everywhere. A half smoked menthol cigarette smoldered in the ashtray and a roll of gauze tape was on the gearshift. There was a toilet paper roll on the antenna and smashed zombie over the front and passenger sides of the truck. He also noticed that her new skirt had ridden up during the trip revealing part of a white bandage on her outer thigh. She saw him looking and jerked the skirt down over it then climbed out of the truck as best as she could without grimacing.

Maggie was screaming at Beth. "Where were you? Beth how could you do this? What were you thinking?" Beth stood patiently while Maggie yelled, then went to the passenger side, grabbed the bags from the clothing store and faced Maggie. "Beth where did you go?" Maggie repeated. Beth replied calmly, "Shopping." Rick had joined in with Maggie. "Beth, how could you be so irresponsible? We were worried sick." Beth jutted her chin out. "There was no reason to be worried. I can take care of myself," she said firmly.

Tyreese hovered nearby. "Girl, we thought you weren't going to make it back. We were out looking for you." Maggie raged hanging onto the side mirror of the truck, "You're just a kid, you don't know what we went through! What daddy went through?" Beth replied, "I know exactly what you went through! Did you enjoy it?" She looked at Maggie's hand fogging the side mirror and snapped, "And don't touch my truck!" She threw the keys at Merle who caught them. "He can touch it."

Beth walked into the prison kitchen holding two bulging shopping bags. Her hair was down and she had two new glitzy barrettes holding her hair in gentle swoops on the sides of her head. She also sported brand new black cowboy boots with white stitching, a mid-thigh pink ruffled skirt and layered pink and white tank tops. The strap of a pink leopard print bra was exposed where her purse rested on her shoulder. She had on electric blue eyeliner, soft pink lipstick and long dangling silver earrings. The smell of floral body spray followed her and the sway of her hips under her skirt was hypnotizing. Carl, Rick and Daryl followed her in carrying boxes from the back of the truck. They started pulling out batteries, electronics, food and other supplies.

She kissed a spluttering Hershel and calmly put her shopping bags down on the table. She fished some items out of one of the bags. She walked to where Merle stood off to himself and handed him a carton of Marlboros then turned to Carol and handed her a bag full of brightly colored new clothes. Daryl snorted from the corner. The message from Beth was clear - thank you for supporting me.

She ignored the commotion and questions around her and pulled one the map she had stolen out of her glittery new silver bag. She had drawn a star in aqua blue pen where the strip mall was and a circle around it denoting a three-mile radius. Loopy blue exclamation points were drawn randomly around the circle. She gave it to Rick and chewed the gum from her blow pop. He looked at her questioningly and she looked at Hershel first. "Daddy, don't panic. I ran into the governor's men and heard them talking. Their hideout is somewhere in here," she said pointing to the circle. Hershel cautioned, "Bethany." She dug the walkie-talkie out of her bag and handed it to Rick. "If you can get this to work it's set on the frequency they're using. I brought back some new ones so we can listen in. That's all I know."

She pulled the iPod out of her bag and put the earbuds in her ears. "I know y'all are mad at me but you'll just have to work on forgiveness. The truck radio will charge the iPod so we can all share it but tonight I get first dibs. I'm going to my cell to listen to this until the battery runs out. And I don't need dinner, I ate on the road." She turned into the cellblock and the movement of her ass caused the ruffles of her skirt to jump.

The shocked silence that followed as they watched her walk to her cell was broken by Merle's laughter bouncing off the walls.

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It seemed like everyone in the prison walked through her cell that night, half telling her how glad they were that she was OK and the other half apologizing for taking her for granted. She got a predictably long lecture from Hershel and Maggie who at the end agreed that they wouldn't fight her on going on runs anymore. Tyreese asked her if she was going to become a ninja next which made her laugh. Carol had kissed her and thanked her for the clothes. "The lingerie even fits perfectly! How did you know I like red?" Beth shrugged and Maggie laughed. "Beth could win the Olympics in shopping. She probably can list off all our sizes without thinking about it." Beth smiled because she knew she could.

As soon as she could she changed into sweatpants so she wouldn't have to hide her bandage. She was exhausted with the effort of walking regularly and she could feel the wound gaping open. She told herself that it would close and it would be fine. She waited until everyone was asleep to go to the bathroom to brush her teeth and inspect the wound. She knew that walking around would make it worse so she stole one of Hershel's crutches and used it to get to the bathroom.

"Shoot," she said when she pulled her sweatpants down. The bandage was soaked with blood and underneath the wound gaped open. She'd have to redress it back in her room. She cautiously exited the bathroom then swung the crutch in terror at the shadowy figure in front of her. Merle grabbed the crutch and yanked it, pulling her off balance. She cried out in pain when she was forced to put her full weight on that leg and his arm went around her. "Ya gonna show me or do I gotta pull your pants off myself?"

"Certainly not," she said huffily. He pulled her toward him and her backside was pressed firmly against his front. His breath was hot on her neck and he chuckled when she shivered. He rubbed his beard softly against her neck and followed it with a soft kiss. She pressed into him and froze when she felt his hardness poking into her ass. "Sugar", he rasped in her ear, his hand splaying on her stomach, "ain't nothin I'd like to do more than pull down them panties and bury my face in that tight little snatch but we gonna hafta save that for next time. I know yer hurt and yer gonna show me one way or another. Your choice."

She paused, torn between being offended and being completely turned on by the way he talked to her. She swallowed and nodded and he let her go. He motioned towards the bathroom door and they went in. He took her to the sink and she moved her pants down to her knees. He lifted her up so she was sitting on the sink and trained his flashlight on the bandage. He peeled it off and swore when he saw the wound. "Needs stitches," he stated. "No," she said, "I can butterfly it..." He stopped her midsentence. "You can tell him or I can," he said matter-of-factly. He wasn't budging. "Merle," she said pleadingly, tears in her eyes.

"Dontcha turn them big eyes on me missy. Ya made yer point today but you gotta learn when ta quit. That gets infected and a lotta people are gonna have to take care of you and that's gonna eat up medical supplies. Yer gettin' stiches now," said Merle sternly. She swallowed, looked at the floor and nodded. Her shoulders slumped as her vision blurred with unwanted tears. She didn't want her weakness exposed and her pride throbbed with pain.

"Ain't nobody gonna treat ya different," he said tipping her chin to look at her face. She nodded and slid off of the sink, pulling up her pants. At least she didn't have to try to walk normally anymore. He helped her back into the cellblock and stood at the doorway of her cell. "Turn around," she said, holding an old pair of shorts. He complied and when she limped past him he saw she had changed. She went into Hershel's cell and he heard her talking gently to the old man.

"You are trying me fiercely today Bethany," said Hershel. He heaved himself up and turned on a lantern. He used a flashlight to examine the wound. "How did you get this?" he asked. "I'd rather not say," she said softly. He exhaled sharply. "Well go wake Carol up so I have someone to help." Beth motioned to the door. "Merle's here," she said. Hershel nodded when Merle appeared in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. "I'll need you to hold her leg down," Hershel said and Merle nodded.

They got lighting set up and Beth lay on her right side on the bed. Merle sat at the foot and situated his left hand on her lower thigh. Hershel scrubbed the wound with iodine ignoring Beth's grunts of pain. "Daddy," she said pleadingly. Hershel was tight-lipped. "No Bethany, I've listened to you enough tonight. You won't even tell me how this happened. This is going to hurt and I'm sorry but you are just going to have to live through it."

He threaded a curved needle and examined the wound closely. "Stay still," he said and he nodded at Merle. Merle's grip tightened and Beth hid her face in a pillow.

**I figured you all would want at least a little glimpse of Beth's night...I will try to update again this week!**


	8. Chapter 8 Stitch

**Hi Everyone - Beth's new chapter! It's going to start heating up but things aren't going to get any easier.**

Stitch

She cried out when the needle bit into her flesh and she tried to jerk away when Hershel poked it cleanly through the other side of the gash. He skillfully pulled the two sides together and tied off the stitch while she bit the pillow. He sighed, "About nine more Bethy," and she cried harder into the pillow. He looked at Merle who scooted up the bed and rested his right elbow across her waist to prevent her from jerking away. Hershel began the next stitch and Beth fought, sweating and screaming into the pillow. He tied it off and looked at his daughter. She was suffering enough without him being angry with her.

He started the next stitch. "Bethy do you remember when I had to suture Otis after that bull got him?" Beth unexpectedly let out a bark of laughter. She screamed again when the needle bit into the other side but laughed as he finished the stitch. "Its horn went through the back of his pants," she gasped. Hershel laughed. "He said he'd never get behind in his work again." Beth laughed, then sniffed and wiped her nose. She resituated the pillow and nodded to her father to start the next one.

"Oh my God," came Carol's voice from the doorway. "What happened?" Hershel replied without looking up, "Another souvenir from Beth's run." Carol rushed to Beth and combed back Beth's hair with her fingers. "Oh baby, I know it hurts. It's going to be all right." Hershel looked at his work and grunted, "I'm going to need help getting a drain in there, it's likely already infected," to Carol. Carol nodded and set up the supplies then motioned to Merle to move. He walked to the head of the bed and sat in between Beth and the wall. When Hershel was ready to resume suturing he bent sideways over Beth's upper body, putting his bent left arm around her shoulders and planting his forearm in front of her chest.

Beth clutched his forearm with both hands and hid her face in it, crying and shaking as the needle moved in and out. Merle bent his head close to hers and said, "Where's that girl that went to Woodbury, huh missy? She was purty tough." Beth took a deep breath and stifled her scream with the next stitch. He rumbled, "That's it now. Be over soon then ya can rest. But fer now ya gotta be tough." Beth nodded and tuned into the sound of his voice. "Ya make it through this ya might even be Dixon tough," he rasped and Beth laughed briefly in between stitches. "Do I get a motorcycle?" she asked. Merle chuckled, "Ya just got ya a new bad ass truck girlie. Don't need no bike." Even in her pain she was happy that he liked her truck.

Beth shook and held her breath as the last stitch went in. Eyes closed, she panted with her face against his bent arm. He smelled so much different than her. She tried to concentrate on his scent while Hershel trimmed the sutures and situated the drain and bandage. "Please don't leave yet," she whispered, eyes still closed. Merle looked up and Hershel nodded, so Merle sat up and rubbed the crick in his neck. Carol came around to Beth's side. "How are you doing honey?" she asked. Beth was sniffling and Carol handed her a rag. After Beth blew her nose she asked, "Does labor hurt this much?" Carol laughed. "It hurts more sweetie. And for a longer time." Beth looked at her despondently. "How am I going to do it?" she asked. Carol smiled and rubbed her arm. "Because at the end of it you get a baby and you forget about what you went through."

Carol and Hershel cleaned off his instruments and packed them in his bag. Hershel sighed looking down at his daughter then he bent over and kissed her face. "I love you daddy," she whispered. He answered, "I love you too Bethy, I just wish you would have chosen a better time than the zombie apocalypse to act out. You know the drill, ten days with the stitches and we may have to flush the drain. Carol will start you on antibiotics and ibuprofen. Try not to work it too much the first couple days until it starts to join. Now I am going back to sleep. Good night Merle, Carol."

Carol handed Beth some pills and a bottle of water and Beth dutifully drank them down. She nodded to Merle and Carol and they helped her back to her cell and onto her bed. The stitches were tight and they were very sore. "Good night sweetie," said Carol, kissing her. Merle was standing near the doorway with his arms crossed. When Carol left Beth asked him softly, "Will you stay until I fall asleep? It won't be long." He looked at her with half-lidded eyes and nodded.

She smiled and scooted so he could sit at the head of her bed with his back against the wall. She rested her head in the crook of his shoulder and wrapped her arm around his middle. "I had to get hurt to get you to hold me," she said jokingly. He settled his back and neck more comfortably against the wall and closed his eyes. He replied, "Mighta done it sooner if that big nig...that black guy didn't have his hands on ya all the time." She smiled, appreciating his censoring, and opened her eyes. A few graying chest hairs peeked out of the top of his wife beater and she ran her fingernails through them. "He's my friend," she said. He took a deep breath through his nose and willed his cock to behave.

She relaxed against him appreciating his warmth and they relaxed for a few minutes. His hand traced lazy circles on her hip and she wanted it to go on forever. He looked down and said, "Why'd ya put toilet paper on yer antenna?" She smiled, "I put the full roll on and when I drove it unfurled. It was like a parade." He snorted at the thought then asked what was really on his mind, "Howdya get the cut missy?" She took a deep breath then exhaled. "One of the Woodbury guys had a knife on a pole. He was jamming it into the cabinets to see if anyone was hiding. I was." She knew Merle wouldn't tell Hershel. Merle frowned, "Whad he do when he found ya?" Her hand dropped to his belly and she spread her fingers to feel the firm muscle. She yawned and said, "He didn't notice the blood on the blade because his own men set walkers on him. After they took him down I had to kill them to get out." Merle's expression turned icy and she felt him tense.

She yawned again and whispered, "Merle? Do you like me more than friends?" Merle ground his teeth and looked down at her. "Yeah," he said softly, wondering just how bad he was fucked. He felt her smiling against his chest again. She sighed and shifted. "I can feel your heart," she whispered and she dropped off to sleep.

Carol padded into the room and checked Beth's bandage using her flashlight. She smiled when she looked at Beth lying on Merle. "Is she asleep?" she asked and Merle nodded curtly. Carol turned to leave then looked back at Merle. She said, "I've never seen her act this way about anyone Merle. She may be young but what she feels is real." When she left Merle stared straight ahead of him and ground his teeth.

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_You're going to pay_, thought Noah as he peered at Beth's cell from the kitchen the next morning. Beth was still sleeping off the night's stress. _You made a fool of me and got me in trouble and you're going to pay. I'll make you pay. I'll make you grovel and kneel and then I'll make you mine. I know you'll enjoy it, both of us will._

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The next week passed quickly. Merle sat with her once a day for meals and she made a point of playing her guitar and singing at the foot of the steps before the group went to bed. He never joined the group but always came out of his cell to lean his back against the wall, arms crossed. Every once in a while looked at her and she smiled. She wanted to go up to his cell and sleep against his chest but she knew from Carol's trials with Daryl to give him space. One day she ventured out to the motor pool to see her truck and was surprised to see that it had been swept out and polished. Rick was walking through and laughed at her consternation. "Merle's been working on it every day, won't let anyone else touch it. You picked a good one!" Beth dreamily wondered if he meant the truck or Merle.

That day at lunch Merle told her tall tales about his misspent youth that made her laugh so hard that people around her started laughing too. But Hershel didn't laugh. He saw how his daughter was acting and knew she was falling for the worst man possible.

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Judith fussed in the early hours and Beth drug herself out of bed to heat a bottle. She stood in a tank top and boxers heating the water, her movements mechanical and her eyes bleary with sleep. She heard his chuckle before she heard his footsteps. She jumped and smiled as his arms went around her middle and she gasped when his lips found her neck. "Never know who could be walkin' around late at night little girl," he rasped. "Oh," she sighed. He nipped her softly with his teeth and his hand came up to softly pinch an uplifted nipple. Beth shuddered and he groaned into her neck. "Jesus fuck, sweetest little titty," he growled. Beth felt a warm rush between her legs and she stood still afraid to break the spell.

"You been thinkin' about ole Merle?" he said as his lips made his way along her collarbone and out to her shoulder. He pressed his hardness between her buttocks. A breathy moan escaped her and she knew she was going to melt into a puddle right there. "Yes," she whispered. "Every day." He nuzzled her ear and smiled. He exhaled slowly across her skin and she shivered. "Them stitches gonna come out in a few days. I probably oughta inspect 'em, make sure they healed up right." She pressed back against him and clutched his arms that were crossed around her chest. "OK," she said. Judith's fussing got angrier and he dropped his arms, smacking Beth on the ass softly as he returned to the cellblock. He grinned inwardly. _Come to papa darlin'._ _Ladies can't resist Merle_.

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"Last one Bethy," said Hershel as he snipped the suture and pulled it out. "All healed up. Now are you going to tell me how you got it?" Beth looked down at her pillow nervously. Hershel sighed, "All right. How about let's not do it again." Beth sat up and kissed his dear face. "Thank you daddy," she said. He looked at his youngest daughter who was the image of her mother. "About Merle," he said. "You two seem to be close. Closer than friends ought to be." Beth's eyes flickered. "Daddy," she said softly. "Please don't."

"It's my job to protect you, and he's one of the things I should be protecting you against," stated Hershel. "He's too old for you and he's a rough man Beth." Beth looked at him with a furrowed brow. "Daddy, I'm treating him as I would be treated. That's what you taught us. He's never done anything bad to me and he had a good explanation for what happened with Glen and Maggie. I don't like what he did either but I think he was forced."

"Beth, I don't like the way he looks at you. I don't like the way you look at him," Hershel protested. Beth regarded her father who she loved above all other people. She couldn't lie to him. She put her hands on Hershel's face. "I think I love him daddy. I know it hurts you and I'm so sorry," she began to cry. "Please daddy trust me and let me work it out myself." Hershel's head snapped back, it was the worst thing he could have heard. "I don't want him near you," he said. She shook her head. "Daddy, it's too late. Plus we're all on top of each other all the time. Nobody can avoid anyone else. Maybe I'm a stupid kid and I'll fall on my face or maybe daddy this is the real thing. You have to let me find out on my own." Hershel closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Beth, has he...?" and Beth smiled. "No daddy. He's been a gentleman." Hershel nodded slowly and left to contemplate his bible.

That night Beth made sure to tell everyone at dinner that her stitches were out. Merle winked at her and made her blush. Later after everyone was asleep she met him in the warden's office. "Hey there girlie," he said as she walked to him. "Hi," she said softly before she was swept up into a kiss that made her head spin. Merle backed her to the desk and lifted her so she was sitting on it. He kissed her assertively, schooling her tongue to respond to his and she shivered. He made his way to her neck and her arms went around his shoulders. His hair was growing out and her fingers found the brown curls at the back of his head. _They're so soft_, she thought.

He nudged the strap of her tank top and bra off her shoulder with his nose and buried his face into her bare collarbone. She stilled. No one had ever had their mouth down in that area. His hand came up to squeeze her nipple through her bra and she squeaked. _Oh my God, so good,_ was all that she could think. He pulled away to look at her and his eyes were smoky. Her mouth hung partly open as she caught her breath.

He nudged the other bra strap and moved his hand to the bottom of her tank top. He slowly pulled it up to reveal her small young breasts and his neck corded as he brought his mouth to a pale pink nipple. Her groan of pleasure was matched by his. _Tastes so fucking good._ His hand came up to work the other nipple and she found herself leaning back to give him better access. She felt like she was on fire and the desire churned deep in her abdomen. Her pussy almost hurt with desire and she wanted to open her legs wider. He moved in closer between her legs and pulled her hips toward his. His hardness rubbed on her and she began to shake out of lust and fear. He saw her expression and her fear registered with him.

He backed away an inch and she visibly relaxed. He leaned his head in towards the side of her face. "I ain't gonna do nothin you don't want," he said she looked into his eyes for reassurance. He kissed her slowly on the mouth and backed away, unzipping her fly slowly without breaking her gaze. "Wanna see them stitches," he said. She unbuttoned her jeans and he helped her pull them off. He moved in to kiss her, his hardness rubbing against her through her thin panties and her heart thundered in her chest. "Ya taste like fuckin' candy," he murmured against her mouth.

His chest was against hers and he rubbed his beard against her cheek until she calmed down. He looked down at her left leg and she shifted her weight to the right so the scar was exposed. He looked at her eyes as his hand traveled downwards to lightly rub his knuckles against the top of her thigh. She was mesmerized by his blue eyes and found strength in them. She nodded slowly and he looked down at the creamy skin of her leg. He crouched and softly kissed the sensitive skin on the inside of her ankle and she gasped. He made his way up to nip the inside of her knee then to the top of her thigh. He gently rolled her so the wound faced up and he softly kissed it from one end to another then he rolled her back so she was sitting again.

"Ya trust me?" he asked in a gravelly voice. Slowly she nodded. "Lean back," he said. "I ain't gonna hurt ya." She complied and he looked at her lying in her tank top and panties. It took every molecule of restraint not to fuck her into oblivion. He pushed between her legs and kissed her on the mouth softly then deeply. When she was relaxed under him he moved his hand to stroke her mound through her underwear. She exhaled sharply into his mouth and he pulled his head back to kiss her softly again. "Next time," he said softly, "I'll do this with my mouth." Her mouth was open against his and she breathed shakily. "And I'm gonna rub all over this with my tongue," he continued as he pressed gently against her clit. "Gonna make ya feel good." Beth whimpered and he gently slid his knuckle under the crotch of her panties and against her clit. Her body shook with fear and wanting. She was hot and slippery and open for him.

He tried to resist but he had to know, he'd never been with a virgin before. He slowly tried to insert his finger but met resistance. This time he shuddered because he couldn't imagine this tightness around his cock. He felt pre-cum leaking out of him and suddenly he was rock hard and hurting. He pulled his hand away and straightened her panties, planting a soft kiss on her warm mound that smelled like heaven, then he helped her sit up and get her pants on and her bra resituated.

The throbbing was persistent and he uncomfortably tried to reposition his pants. Beth was still panting and confused and scared but when she saw him pulling at the fabric she was curious. He saw her looking and said, "I'll take care of this later, gotta get ya back." She looked at him searchingly. "You saw me. I want to see you," she said. Her cheeks were flushed and in the soft lantern light her eyes were fathomless. He shook his head and said, "Don't ya worry about it." She pressed her lips together. "Please?" she asked softly.

"Fuck little girl," he groaned. "I can't keep control of it when it's out." She looked at him pleadingly and he swore and undid his jeans. He walked to her and it popped out, erect and bobbing. She gaped. _It's so big! And weird. I want to touch it._ She reached her hand out and lovingly caressed it and he said, "Fuck," through clenched teeth. It seemed to grow in her hand. "Show me," she said in awe. He guided her hand up and down the shaft until she had the rhythm and she watched as the head swelled with her strokes. "I'm gonna come," he warned. His arms draped over her shoulders and he moved his hips jerkily so that he was fucking her hand. His breathing became ragged and he bucked and bellowed profanity as it jerked in her hand and ejaculate spurted from him onto her shirt and jeans.

He ground into her hand a few more times and rested his head on her shoulder to catch his breath. "Now what?" she asked. He wiped the sweat off of his face and said, "Now we put it away til next time." She looked pensive and he said, "Whatsa matter little girl?" Her eyes prickled and she said, "It's too big, it won't fit." Merle tucked himself back in and put his arms around her neck. He looked her in the eye and said, "We'll go slow. I promise it'll fit after we make a little room. That's for another day." He kissed her softly on the lips and she felt better. She smiled at him. "Let's get ya back," he said.

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The next run was back to the big box store and Beth opted not to go. She knew that Merle would be trying to find contraception for them and he didn't need a distraction. Rick had decided that they would take Beth's truck, as it was forever to be known, on the run with them and she missed it. She wandered around the field staying away from the fence so as not to disturb the walkers. She waved to the two Woodbury residents manning the tower and made her way back. _Tyreese should be around somewhere_, she thought. _Maybe we can sing._

She went in to use the bathroom and saw Noah standing at the end of the hallway near the entrance to C block. He waved at her and when she approached him he said, "Hey, your dad is the doctor, right? I'm not so sure he should be going through D block alone." Beth frowned at him. They had only made one sweep through D block, there were sure to be more walkers in there. She replied, "Why did he go in there?" and Noah shrugged. "He said something about the prison infirmary being there and needing supplies." Beth felt for her knife on her belt. "I'm going to him," she said.

Noah looked nervous. "I don't think you should go alone. I'll go with you." Beth nodded. "OK, do you have a weapon?" she asked. He sheepishly pulled out a fileting knife. "I haven't killed one yet but I know what to do." She nodded and they entered D block. Noah led the way and Beth covered him from behind. They had to take out one walker on the way and Beth did it. "Yuck," she thought as she looked at her shirt covered with walker slime. "Here it is," said Noah. "Let me go in first in case there's any walkers in there." Beth nodded and stood with her back to the doorway to cover. Soon Noah called, "OK, it's clear!" When Beth turned around the police baton smashed into her eye.

And she dropped like a rock.

**PLEASE review! I'm feeling lonely!**


	9. Chapter 9 Smash

**OK readers, there is an attempted rape scene in this chapter so if you're sensitive to that you may want to skip the first half.**

Smash

Beth woke up to blinding pain. She didn't know whether the panting breaths she heard were coming from her or someone else. Her right eye was sealed shut and she could see fireworks were going off in it. She was lying on her back and she tried to roll to her side, crying out in pain. She was pushed back down and she felt air across her chest. She put her hand to cover her right eye and opened the left to see that her shirt and the front of her bra had been cut open, exposing her breasts and stomach. Noah was standing over her undoing his belt, knife in his hand.

"Stop," said Beth. "Don't do this Noah, they'll kill you." Noah laughed. "Not when you tell them how much you loved it," he said. He got his belt undone and unzipped his fly to reveal his skinny erection. "No!" she said quickly rolling to the side. He sat forcefully on her midsection, knocking the air out of her. She coughed then screamed when the pressure hit her hurt eye. "Stop it Noah," she cried. He was shaking with anticipation. "I want you on your knees," he said. "I want you on your knees begging forgiveness for getting me in trouble the other night. Then I want you to confess that you're in love with me. I see the way you look at me. Then you're going to suck me off."

Beth gagged and flung her head to the side. "Please Noah, let me go. Don't do this." He knelt on one of her biceps then the other and _it_ was close to her face. "Or we can just do it this way," said Noah. She thought of Merle's cock and how much she wanted it and it made her more revolted. She screamed and he slapped his hand over her mouth. "Don't draw the walkers!" he hissed. He removed his hand and she yelled, "I'd rather be killed by walkers than touch you!" Noah switched the knife to his left hand and slapped her across the face with his right. She screamed again.

_Think Beth think. Think of what Tyreese taught you._ Beth tried to breathe, ignoring Noah. _You have to stay calm despite the situation._ Tyreese had taught her a little jiu jitsu for a rape situation. Noah was talking to her sternly but she tuned him out. She leaned forward as if she was going to actually touch her lips to his...thing... and just like Tyreese taught her Noah leaned forward, tipping his center of gravity. She growled and bucked, moving to the side and catching his head in the crook of her arm. Now she was crouched along side him and had him in a choke hold but she didn't have his head situated right and she knew he'd eventually slip out. She surveyed the room quickly, the door was about 20 feet to the side and she'd have to get past Noah to get out.

He was punching her in the ribs with his right hand and squeezing a breast harshly with his left and she fought to compress his windpipe. Tyreese had told her to let her ribs take the punishment because they were there for protection. She cried out in pain as Noah struggled. He was squirming out and she knew she had to make a break for it. She planted her heels into the floor and jumped up to standing, releasing Noah in the process. He fell to the floor coughing and wheezing. As she skittered towards the door she saw a pile of scrap on the floor and it froze her heart. She didn't have time to process its meaning at that moment so she pushed it out of her mind.

She shot down the hallway towards the entrance to her cellblock. When she encountered a group of walkers she frantically searched her pockets - Noah had taken her knife. She could hear him running after her and when she turned she could see he was brandishing a knife. Taking a deep breath she ran towards the walkers. Weeks later when she looked back on that moment she thought she must have looked like a pinball because she threw her full weight into their sides and used her momentum to bounce off of them as she made her way through the group. She heard Noah screaming at her in fury and it made her run faster.

Lunch was just over and the kitchen was clearing out when Beth burst through the door, bruised, covered in slime and clutching her cut shirt over her bare breasts. "Daddy!" she cried as she dropped to her knees.

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Hershel and Carol were at her sides then she was in Hershel's arms. She was sobbing too furiously to get the story out. "Get her to my cell," said Hershel and Karen and Carol were able to lift her and walk her there. "My dear God," said Hershel, visibly shaken. "Get her one of my shirts." They stripped her of her shirt and bra and got her into Hershel's shirt. "She's been physically assaulted, likely sexually," observed Carol, who was all too familiar with the types of wounds that came from abuse.

Beth cried and clung to Hershel and he held her tightly. "She needs you now Hershel," said Carol quietly, "call me when you're ready." Hershel rocked Beth for a half hour before she calmed down enough to gasp, "Noah." Hershel kept his tone low, encouraging her. "Did Noah do this to you Beth?" Beth nodded and Hershel asked, "Was he alone or did he have help?" Beth renewed her grip on Hershel's back. "Alone," she answered. "Did he do this to your eye?" asked Hershel and she nodded.

"Beth, did he sexually assault you?" he asked with tears gathering in her eyes. Beth didn't know how to answer and she remained silent. "Did he rape you?" asked Hershel and she shook her head no. "He tried to make me...do..something to him," choked Beth. "I got away Daddy." Hershel's face was a mask of fury. "Carol," he barked and Carol appeared in the doorway looking worried. Carl was behind her.

"Identify whoever's here and tell them to find Noah," said Hershel. Carol nodded and asked Carl who was on today's run. He ticked off on his fingers, "Rick, Daryl, Merle, Maggie, Glen, Michonne." Carl continued, "You go find Tyreese and I'll look for Noah." Carol looked at Carl warily, there was a cold glint in his eye. "Make sure he comes back alive," cautioned Carol. "Your dad will need to talk to him." Carl stared at her for a moment and walked away, gun in his hand.

An hour later Noah was locked in his cell in C block. He looked around sullenly and refused to answer questions. Karen sat outside his cell crying and begging him to say something and Tyreese stood watch to make sure Noah didn't get out or try something stupid. Soon the word came through that Rick's group was back from their run.

Rick looked at the small crowd of people waiting at the tower and he groaned, for sure something was wrong. They pulled the two cars into the first entrance and the others made sure the gates were secure behind them. Carl met him. "Gotta problem," he said. He looked at Maggie who was in the back seat. "Noah attacked Beth." Maggie gasped and grabbed Glen's hand. Rick's eyes were steely, "Did he rape her?" he asked. Carl shrugged, "Don't know. Beat her up pretty good." Maggie's face was drained of all blood. "Oh my God," she said. Glen comforted her as they drove up to the prison.

Michonne, Daryl and Merle were in the second car and they got the message after Rick's car had already taken off. Merle got the message from Carl and motioned for him to get in then he hit the gas and followed Rick. "Need ta fuckin' kill that little prick," swore Daryl and Carl agreed. Michonne remained silent in the passenger's seat, and when she looked at Merle's frozen face she knew how things were about to go down.

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Hershel asked that Carol examine Beth's body and that he would come in to check her eye. Beth did not object to Carol's medical exam because Carol had a gentle touch and seemed to know the right questions to ask. She heard a ruckus and turned to see that Maggie had entered the kitchen and was hugging a crying Hershel. She was soon in the cell with Carol and she held Beth while they both cried. "Oh, your eye," wailed Maggie. "Oh my baby." Beth clung to her and shook with a new burst of sobs.

"Did he touch you Bethy? Did he touch you?" asked Maggie through clenched teeth. Beth grimaced and nodded. Carol said softly, "Her ribs are bruised from punches and her breast is pretty bruised up. I haven't gotten any farther. She says he didn't rape her." Maggie helped Carol hang blankets for privacy and they helped Beth out of her pants. "Beth, you don't have to show me a thing if you don't want," said Carol. "It's OK," whispered Beth, holding Maggie's hand.

Carol examined her quickly and gently. "We need to get your dad in here for your eye honey," said Carol and she and Maggie helped Beth on with her pants. Carol went out to the kitchen to get Hershel and was surprised to see that everyone that had been on the run was congregated there. The mood was subdued and all eyes followed her as she helped Hershel up. Her eyes found Daryl's and she looked at him sadly before she followed Hershel to his cell.

"Beth we've got to look at that eye," said Hershel. "No daddy please," said Beth. "It hurts. We can look at it tomorrow." Hershel stroked her hair and said, "Beth, if it's displaced or the pressure is increasing I've got to know now." She began to shake and plead with him. Of his two daughters Beth had been the one to always fight to the death over eye drops and eye exams, she had never liked them. "I'll go as fast as I can," promised Hershel who began to assemble his tools.

Maggie stroked Beth's arm and Carol stood to the side. "I"ll be right here honey, right here with you. I'm not leaving you," promised Maggie. "Maggie please no!" pleaded Beth. She had finally come to the end of her rope.

Carol left briefly to apprise the others of the situation. In the kitchen she looked at the others soberly and said, "Noah lured Beth into the infirmary in D block, he told her that Hershel was in there. When she came through the door he hit her in the eye with something, probably a baton or a bat. When she woke up he was trying to force her and she was able to escape, but he's beaten her up pretty good and she had to run through a group of walkers without a weapon to get to safety." A weighty silence filled the air and she pressed her eyelids to stop the tears that threatened. "She got away before he could rape her. We don't know how badly her eye is damaged yet, she's afraid to let Hershel look at it."

Rick paced, combing his fingers through his curly hair. "We let Hershel examine Beth then we have a trial. The decision on what to do with Noah has to come from the community. I can't be objective about this." Questions flew about mechanics of the trial process and Carol returned to Beth.

A scream split the air and it emanated from Hershel's cell. Merle pushed himself off of the wall and strode into the cellblock. He stood in Hershel's doorway and saw that Maggie was straddling Beth and kneeling on her arms to let Hershel look at the eye. "Damn it Beth," said Hershel. "Don't make me sedate you." Beth's lower body was writhing on the bed and Carol was stroking her leg trying to calm her. "Just one minute Beth," promised Hershel and she stilled. He pried open her swollen eyelids and Beth began to hyperventilate. Merle could see her body shaking and hear her panicked breathing. His eyes fell to the floor and took in the shredded shirt and the bra sliced through the front.

Maggie and Carol were trying to calm Beth and after what seemed like forever Hershel said, "All right Beth we're done." Maggie backed off of Beth's arms and stroked her face reassuring her. Carol looked at Hershel. "Will she lose her sight?" she asked. Hershel shook his head and said, "No, the eye socket took most of the trauma. It's not broken but it's bruised." He turned to look at Carol and saw Merle by the door. "The eye is in place and luckily there's no sign of hemorrhage. I can't assess the internal eye pressure with the tools I have, we just have to pray that it doesn't increase. We need to cover it and treat it with chloramphenicol drops that I do not have. That means another run."

Merle melted back into the shadows as Rick appeared in the doorway. Hershel's face hardened. "Rick, I need to talk to you about this. Now." Maggie looked up with fire in her eyes. "Me too," she said. She kissed Beth and looked at Carol who smiled and nodded, moving up to Beth's head. As Maggie and Hershel left Carol helped Beth back up to sitting and wiped her face and helped her drink some water. Merle reappeared in the doorway and Carol saw him. "No more than a minute or two," she said to him as she exited.

From the kitchen they could hear Hershel's raised voice. "I warned you Rick, I warned you this would happen now look at my daughter. I want to see justice done and I want to be the one that hands it out." Maggie's voice drifted in, agreeing with her father.

Merle moved into the cell and squatted in front of Beth. Her eye was swollen shut, the lids an angry red. "Merle," she whispered and the next thing he knew her arms were around him and the good side of her face was pressed into his neck. He put his arms around her and spoke in a deadly whisper. "He rape you?" She shook her head no and began to cry against his warm skin. "It's OK angel we gonna take care of him," he promised. She shook her head and keened, her hands twisting in his shirt. A hoarse sob exploded from her chest as she recalled the shocking memory and the pain sliced within her anew. "Merle," she said in an exhausted whisper. "He smashed my guitar."

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Merle appeared at Noah's cell. He jerked his head at Karen. "Trial's startin' soon," he said. "If you defendin' him ya need to get in there." Karen nodded and tried to touch Noah through the bars but she couldn't reach him and he didn't move. She sniffed and moved into the hallway between the two cellblocks. Merle looked at Tyreese and lied, "Missy's askin' for ya," he said, managing to look disgruntled. "I'll take your place. Come get me when they need him."

Five minutes later Merle dragged a bound and gagged Noah through the motor pool. When he got to the squad car he jammed Noah in and started to the driver's side. He stopped when he saw Michonne silently observing him. Merle's lip curled into a sneer and he returned her stare. _She gonna send up the alarm?_ he thought. She looked at him calmly and said, "Easier with two," and she got into the car.

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"All right, we're ready to try Noah for his crime," said Rick to the full kitchen. He looked at Tyreese and frowned. "Tyreese, who's watching Noah?" he asked. Tyreese answered, "Merle traded with me, said Beth wanted me here." Daryl's head snapped up. "Oh shit," he yelled as he took off towards the Woodbury cellblock.

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Noah looked around in terror. The land one mile outside the prison gates was teeming with walkers and many of them were attracted by the sound of the car. Michonne's katana was at his throat. Merle cut Noah's restraints and said, "By the power invested in me by nobody but my own self I hereby sentence you to death by walker for attempted rape. Sucks to be you boy." Merle swiftly walked back to the driver's side and got in and Michonne entered through the passengers side.

"You can't do this," cried Noah trying to open the locked car doors. "I don't even have a knife!" Merle gave him a pleasant smile. "Then I suggest you run,' he said and gunned the engine back to the prison.

**It will take me some time for the next two chapters, I had them mostly written but they accidentally got deleted :( Please review!**


	10. Chapter 10 Friends

**Friends**

There was a crowd waiting for them in the prison yard when they returned. The first one that rushed to the car was Karen. "Where is he? Where is Noah, Merle?" she pleaded. Merle met Rick's eyes in the crowd then took Karen by the elbow to C block. She was still questioning Merle when the door closed behind them.

In the yard Michonne looked at Rick. "Tell me you didn't. Tell me you didn't Michonne," Rick said, stepping closer to her and cocking his head to look her in the eye. She appraised him for a moment then said, "We set him loose. He's not allowed to come back." Several in the crowd gaped, several murmured dissent. Others nodded. "You set him loose," repeated Rick. His voice rose, "So you decided to be judge, jury and executioner? You and Merle of all people? You represent all of us?"

Michonne regarded him warily. "Yeah," she answered. "That way nobody's hands dirty but ours." Hershel rapped a crutch on the ground in anger. "There's a process Rick. There's a process and I was owed vengeance." Rick held his hand up to Hershel. "So now we try you and Merle for murder? Is that our recourse?" Rick asked. Michonne took a step forward and regarded him balefully. "Boy looked fine to me last I saw him. In fact he looked pretty chipper for a rapist."

"No one has even talked to him. He wasn't proven guilty," seethed Rick. Hershel's voice rang out. "Are you implying that my daughter is lying? Do you think she hurt herself RICK?" The door to C opened and Merle walked out. He stood by Michonne with his arms crossed. "What is WRONG with you?" asked Rick. "Do you even think about what you do?"

Merle planted his feet regarded him coolly. "How many them guys you put away Rick? Rapists?" Rick's chest heaved and he glared at Merle. Merle continued, "I'm willin' to bet at least a hundred. Good guess?" he asked. Rick nodded slowly. Merle continued, "I was in jail with 'em. Tell me. How many of them stopped?" Rick paced and ground his teeth, looking at the ground. He stopped in front of Merle with his hands on his hips. "Maybe one or two," said Rick. Merle finished for him, "And probably none." Rick put his finger in Merle's face. "That doesn't give you the right!" he yelled.

Merle stared at him with intensity. "So whatcha gonna do officer? Put him in a cell for the rest of his days so we have to take care a him alla time? Let the old man blow his head off? Or give him a fightin' chance and let him go so ya remember that ya didn't kill him directly?" Merle looked around in disdain. "Y'all ain't up for makin' that decision." he said. Rick bristled and was about to reply when...

"Stop," Beth said softly. She stood in the doorway to the cellblock, a piece of gauze over her hurt eye and an oversized flannel shirt hanging off of her. Her arms were wrapped around her middle. She looked at the people in the prison yard. "Noah hurt me. He tried to make me do things to him. I don't want that happening to anyone else. I'm glad he's gone, I hope he's dead." Her eye connected with Merle's for a fleeting second before she went back to Hershel's cell.

Rick hung his head and threw his hand up in the air. "Show's over," he announced, walking resolutely to the guard tower.

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Beth spent the next week in Hershel's cell because she was too shaken up to sleep alone. During the day and evening she watched Judith who always made her happy. She had some visitors too including Tyreese's sister Sasha who confided that her uncle had raped her when she was a teenager. "I've never told anybody," said Sasha holding Beth's hand. "Not even Tyreese. I thought it was my fault. I thought I was bad. That's the way they want you to feel. This was not your fault Beth and you are a beautiful person. The man or woman that ends up with you will be the luckiest person in the world." Beth's smile crumpled into tears and they held each other.

When Maggie wasn't working she spent her time with Beth, playing cards in Hershel's cell or just sitting and holding hands. She was worried about Beth's fear of leaving the cell but she didn't comment on it. Having gone through a scary episode herself she was the last to judge and the thought of Beth's goodness and purity being marred by violence was immobilized her. Hershel tried to act normally but Beth often caught him looking at her with a deep frown of worry.

The day Tyreese sheepishly showed up in Hershel's doorway was the first day she laughed. He asked politely if he could come into the room, not wanting to spook her, and she patted the bed next to her. After a while she was leaning her head on his shoulder and drawing strength from his massive body. "I owe you everything. Without you I wouldn't have gotten away," said Beth tearfully. Tyreese looked down at her. "Girl, what you goin' on about? You kicked that boy's ASS! Not only did you choke him you got away. You were like Bruce Lee!" Beth couldn't help but laugh and Tyreese spent the afternoon with her. She was amazed at how fast the time flew when people were with her. Merle even drifted by once in a while, casually looking in as if he were making sure everyone was safe. No way he was going to get caught in there with people in an out all of the time. Finally Beth decided to move back into her own cell.

Maggie and Hershel hovered around and both offered to spend the night but she declined. Carol and by association Daryl seemed to be around an awful lot that evening too. Beth hugged her family and said, "I have to face it. I love you all." She kissed everyone except Daryl who looked panicked and bedded down with a dog-eared book. Soon all the lights were out but hers. _OK Bethy_ she thought. _Soon watch will be changing and there will be people walking around. You're not alone._

Beth didn't sleep a wink and in the morning she was up making breakfast an hour before people were up. The next night was the same and so was the next. Whenever she closed her eyes at night she saw Noah or walkers. She tried to sleep during the day when Judith napped but it was catching up to her and she was tired. She visited the cell that they termed the arsenal and selected a handgun. She was ready to try anything to sleep on her own.

Night fell and her anxiety increased. _Stop it Beth, Noah is gone. Nobody here is going to hurt you_, she scolded herself. She tried valiantly to sleep but couldn't. She kept her light off so she wouldn't draw attention to her problem. Frustrated, she pulled her knees up into her chest and cried. _I'm so tired. I just want to sleep without nightmares even just for one night._ She got up and softly paced the kitchen, gun in her hand. When she got tired of that she went back to her cell and sat on the bed, facing the door. Her arms were around her pulled-up knees and the gun dangled from her hand. The tears came again.

She jumped and shuddered in fright when Merle showed up in the doorway. "Yer keepin' me up missy," he grumbled as he stared down the barrel of her handgun. "You got that fuckin safety on?" he asked. "Sorry," she gasped, lowering the gun. She turned on her flashlight and looked at the action. "It's red," she said, "What does that mean?" Merle shifted and leaned against the doorframe. "Means you almost blew my head off," he said. "How bout you turn it on 'fore ya lose a finger?"

"Sorry," she repeated, flipping the safety and gently laying the gun on the bed with the barrel pointed towards the concrete wall. Merle pushed himself off of the doorframe and walked into the cell. He sat on the bunk opposite her and regarded her. A deep bruise bloomed around her right eye and a black ring from exhaustion ringed her other. "What the hell ya got that gun for?" he asked. She looked down, embarrassed and shrugged. "Nightmares. I hoped it would help me feel...safer I guess. Especially being on the ground floor."

"Why don't ya sleep with yer pa?" he asked quietly. She was braless and wearing the same tank top and boxers that she usually wore to bed, when she bent down to pick up her water bottle off of the floor he could see the bruising at the top of one of her breasts. His eyes went cold and when she sat back up she saw where his attention had been. Her hand went to press her tank top against her chest self-consciously.

"Because I'm an adult," she said. "I need to handle things on my own." Merle grunted in reply. She sat cross-legged and her fingers delicately played with the thin leather bracelet around her wrist. Merle remembered exactly what those fingers felt like and his body started to react. "So yer not gonna sleep at all," stated Merle. Beth ignored him and said, "Thank you for what you did with Noah. I mean, I know you would have done it no matter who he attacked but," she fixed her violet eyes on him. "I'm grateful that you did it for me."

They sat in silence for a few moments then she moved over to sit in the bunk next to him. She picked up his left hand and held it between her hands and leaned her head against his shoulder. After a while he interlaced his fingers with hers and looked down at her. She met his eyes and whispered, "Maybe I would sleep if I was in your room." Amusement flickered briefly in his eyes, "Then I'd be the one not gettin' sleep little girl." "Oh," she said, slightly embarrassed. Her free hand traced little circles on the back of his. Her sensitive fingertips could feel the scars and lumps from a life of hard use. She lifted it and kissed the back of it as if she could make all the hurt go away.

"I gotta hunt early in the mornin'," he said quietly. "You take the top bunk and ya make sure to get your ass out of there before anybody else is up." She looked up and smiled eagerly. "OK," she said. He took the gun off of her bed, checked the safety and put it in the back of his pants. "And ya don't get this back til ya learn how ta use it," he ordered. Beth got up and bent over to get the blanket from her bed and when the boxers rode up to reveal the firm flesh underneath Merle wanted to drop to his knees and fuck her with his tongue.

He turned abruptly and went upstairs trying to think about anything but her tight young body. When he got to his cell he took off his clothes and put on a pair of shorts. He usually slept naked but that would be like pouring gasoline on a bonfire right now. He took off his prosthetic and yawned. She showed up in the doorway with her blanket and softly padded into the room and he helped her into the top bunk. "Good night Merle," she whispered, bending down to kiss his cheek. She bit her lip when she saw the bulge of his erection in his shorts. "Sorry," she said.

He grunted, shut off the lantern and crawled into his cold bunk. He willed his exhaustion to overtake his sex drive and fell to sleep. He awoke just before first light with a colossal and quite painful hard-on pressed firmly between Beth's ass cheeks. He thrust into the crease and groaned inwardly. _When the fuck did she crawl in here?_ he wondered. His hand was under her shirt pulling at her nipples. She sighed and stirred, pressing back into him and he groaned aloud.

Beth's eyes opened. She had waited until Merle started snoring then slipped in with him. She had to know if it felt right or if Noah had stolen it away from her. When she woke up with him all over her she knew it was right. She turned towards him and felt the heat radiating from his tense body. She kissed his neck and moved her hand down to cup his hardness. "Let me take care of you," she whispered and she received only panting in reply. She slid her hand into the front of his shorts and wrapped her fingers around him. This cock definitely wasn't Noah's and she wanted to make it happy.

She pushed Merle on his back and lay on top of him, opening her mouth for his and letting him crush her to his chest. She felt his broad chest heaving underneath her and she moved her mouth down to it. _I love how he smells_, she thought. She moved farther down and he stilled in surprise. She had heard other girls talk about this but had never done it herself and she was pretty much guessing. She kissed the head of his cock and he grunted as if he were in pain. She opened her mouth to suck the head and his fingers sank into her hair. She tasted something salty.

She tried to take as much in her mouth as she could and was disappointed that she couldn't even get halfway. _It smells so different down here...not bad really, just different._ His hips were moving and he was thrusting in and out of her mouth. _How can flesh and blood so hard? _she wondered. She tried her best to keep her mouth on him and not throw up when he hit the back of her throat. Soon he started cussing and she was surprised when he suddenly pushed her off and pumped himself with his hand a few times before spurting over his stomach.

Beth wiped her mouth and sat back on her knees. She hoped she did OK, she didn't know what to think of the way it ended. _Did I do it wrong?_ Merle was wiping his stomach off with the sheet and catching his breath. "I'm sorry if I did it wrong," she said and when he looked at her face the back of her hand was to her mouth and her eyes were worried. "I just wanted to..." she trailed off. Merle growled and reached up to pull her to him. She lay on his chest and played with his chest hair while he recovered. His mind was reeling. _Wasn't this the girl that he saw prayin' twice a day with her preacher pa? The one that never raised her voice and changed diapers all day? Fuck._ The technique wasn't strong but the element of surprise and the enthusiasm with which the hummer was administered blew it off the charts.

"Little girl," he said. "Yer gonna give me a heart attack. You didn't do a goddamned thing wrong except gettin' in bed with me in the first place," he sighed. She propped herself on his chest and looked at him with a serious expression. Her fingers traced his jaw. "I'd never seen a man until you, or touched one," she said earnestly. "I liked it and I wanted to learn more to make you happy. Then Noah tried to make me do things to...his... and all I could think was how much I hated it. I was worried that I'd never like it again." Merle swallowed and brushed a lock of blond hair from her forehead. "And did ya?" he asked. She smiled and said, "Yes, with you." The first light of dawn illuminated her features looking gently down at him. "Thank you," she said and kissed him gently on the lips.

_Jesus fuck, _he thought_, I just got blown by an angel and SHE'S thankin' ME_. He stroked her hair with his good hand and she lay her cheek on his chest. _Only a few more minutes left, best we clear things up_, he thought. "I was able to hold back this time but that don't mean I'll be able to next time. If you come back in my bed you gotta be ready for all of it," he said, his voice gravelly. She thought for a few minutes and nodded her head silently. He continued, "Then it's just you and me, nobody else." She nodded again. He lifted her chin up to look at her. "I can give you this," he said solemnly, "but I can't promise nothin' else. Don't go runnin' downstairs thinkin' we're fallin' in love or gettin' married or no shit like that. I'm here for my brother, not for no one else."

She swallowed hard and he saw the pain and fear in her eyes. He kept his gaze steady. He didn't need baggage especially after the drama with Karen. She was obviously thinking hard, he could see the thoughts flying past her eyes. She took a deep breath and a tear ran out of each eye. Then she nodded.

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Beth opened a can of Ensure and put it on a tray along with some finely ground oatmeal. Mr. Scruggs had been failing lately. He didn't get out of bed and he was dehydrated. He sometimes answered direct questions but otherwise was silent, staring at the ceiling. Hershel had said there was nothing he could do and that it was in God's hands. Beth thought he was dying of a broken heart.

She made her way to C block and to his room. She had been dreading this day, the day she was to tell him about the guitar. She prayed for strength as she walked into his room. He was lying with his back to her groaning slightly. She put the tray down on the other bed and approached him. "Mr. Scruggs," she said gently touching his shoulder. "I've got your breakfast." She was surprised when his body jerked around and his hand grabbed her arm. She looked at his face and was horrified to see the pale eyes of the dead staring back at her hungrily. His teeth snapped, missing her face by inches. Beth screamed sharply and tried to pull away. "Help, he's turned," she screamed, jerking back. His grip held her and his teeth were snapping in a regular rhythm. "Help me," she screamed.

Soon there were hands pulling her away from his corpse and yanking her through the door. Karen slammed the door and pulled her knife. "Come on asshole," she said, and sank her knife into its eye when it tried to follow. The walker sank to the floor. Beth scurried to her feet. "He must have died in his sleep," she gasped. Karen turned to her and Beth was shocked by her appearance. She had lost weight and was deathly pale. There were purple shadows under her eyes and her brown hair had developed a gray streak. _This is the face of a woman who lost her son_ thought Beth in sympathy. "Thank you," said Beth. Karen looked at her with pain creasing her face.

"I guess I haven't talked to you since it happened," said Beth. "But I want to tell you I'm sorry for your loss. I don't know what else to say." Karen nodded slowly as if in a fog. "I have a picture of him," she said. "In my cell." She turned and Beth followed her dutifully. Karen pulled a school picture out of her wallet. It was a young gap-toothed Noah grinning at the photographer mischievously. A thick lock of brown hair hung messily over his forehead. Beth smiled, "He was adorable," she said.

Karen looked at the picture. "He wasn't always a monster," she said quietly. "His dad walked out on us when he was two and I raised him on my own. I told myself he didn't need a dad and for the first ten years that seemed true. It was when he approached his teens that behaviors started. In fact when the world ended I was getting ready to meet with his principal because Noah had been expelled for bringing a firearm to school and threatening a teacher that he had a crush on. I was going to try to keep him out of juvenile detention."

Beth felt tears gather in her eyes. Nobody ever knew this side of Karen. Probably nobody had ever asked. Karen continued, "Merle kept me from going out there after him. Said two deaths won't make up for one. But every day I look out of those gates and think of my baby, this baby," she gestured to the picture, "walking around as one of those things and it takes everything I have not to go."

Beth put her hand on Karen's arm and when she looked up Beth pulled her into a hug. "Anytime you need to talk, please consider me a friend," said Beth. Karen looked at her sadly. She had seen the bruises all over Beth's body during a group shower the previous week and she knew her son had done it. "I guess you're not a kid after all," said Karen softly.

The following week Beth was practicing with Tyreese in the field when he stopped and gazed past the fence. Beth turned and saw to her horror that it was Noah. The eyes were dead and the flesh was pretty decomposed. He must not have lasted long after Merle and Michonne left him. "Don't let anyone touch him," said Beth and she ran up to the prison gate where Karen was on watch. Beth walked with her to the fence and she and Tyreese stood with Rick and Merle while Karen called her son and put him out of his misery. When she turned she was enveloped in the arms of Beth and Tyreese.

Beth was pensive that night, her brow furrowed over dinner. Hershel was concerned and when he said so she smiled and said, "Just life and death daddy." Hershel had heard about zombie Noah being killed by his mother and he patted Beth's back. He was proud of her for supporting her new friend. After she cleaned up and the lights were out she sat on her bunk with her back against the wall. She thought about life and how her life could end up being as short as Noah's. And what it means to live, not just to breathe and eat and survive but to enjoy life. She prayed and made her peace with God then she padded up to Merle's room.

**I'm starting to get caught up with chapters, thanks for your patience and please review. I'm worrying that I have made Beth a little stronger than what is realistic...don't worry, she'll show her age soon. Please review, it makes me happy!**


	11. Chapter 11 Changes

**Changes**

Merle stood with his arms braced against the top bunk and leaned forward, letting his back pop and crack in its nightly symphony. He rotated his neck and got a few more cracks. His fighting years were starting to come back on him. He straightened to pull off his prosthetic and saw something out of the corner of his eye. He turned to the doorway and saw Beth. She was standing in the light of the full moon like a ghost. She hung there wavering, her mouth partially open. He stood up straight and dropped his arms, looking at her hard, willing her away. _Don't make me do it little girl._

She entered and stopped in front of him, crossing her arms self-consciously. It took her a few moments to raise her eyes to his and he thought fleetingly that a person could drown in them. "Last chance girlie," he said roughly. Her eyes flicked to his chest and back up to his face. "I want to," she breathed so softly he could barely hear her. His heartbeat roared in his ears. He had hoped she would come. Since when did a Dixon hope anything? He pulled off his shirt and wife beater and threw them on the top bunk and turned to face his prey.

His left hand moved to grip the back of her head and he planted his open mouth on hers as he held her body tightly to his. She jumped, startled then tried to keep up with his tongue as his kiss deepened and bruised her. She struggled for breath and his hardness pushed into her belly and suddenly she was scared out of her mind. Her thoughts went to Noah_. _She panicked and pushed away, hyperventilating and feeling dizzy. Her hand went to her mouth as she fought for breath and her eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry," she gasped. Merle was panting and his eyes seemed to cut right through her. He had pushed her intentionally hoping in his own fucked up way that he'd scare her off and now he saw that what he accomplished was scaring the shit out of her.

_I've ruined it all_ she thought in despair. She caught a sob and pushed it down and the room started to spin. She moved to the bunk and sat on it with her face in her hands, concentrating on breathing. She felt him sit down next to her and was surprised when he put his arm around her. "Do you want me to leave?" she asked quietly into her hands. He sighed. "Just set here a spell," he replied. "Y'ain't leavin' like this." _Like a stupid scared teenager _she thought and stifled another sob. She felt humiliated.

After a while Merle's back began to bother him and he scooted back to rest his shoulders against the wall. She tentatively dropped her hands from her face and looked back at him. He didn't look like he hated her. He clenched his teeth against the feelings that rocked him. She looking at him over her shoulder with tears tracking down her cheeks, she was the most goddamned beautiful thing he'd ever seen. She moved to lie against him and timidly put her face into his neck. She expected him to bark at her and kick her out at any second but he didn't. She could feel that his body was taut alongside hers.

She gradually relaxed with the feel of his pulse on her face and his body warming hers. His smell was welcome and familiar. She closed her eyes and felt sleep starting to overcome her. She began to remember the things about him that brought her here in the first place and she softly kissed his neck. "Merle?" she whispered in a broken voice. He inclined his head towards hers and she asked, "Can we lie down?" He grunted and stood up to take off the rest of his clothes. She took in his broad shoulders and well muscled arms and legs as well as his partial erection. _He's so beautiful_ she thought. _And he's mine. Kind of._

He lay on his back and raised his arm so she could tuck herself into him and she rested with her hand on his chest. She could feel that his heartbeat was strong and sure. She began to lightly stroke his jaw and his neck then his collarbone and his chest and followed the trail of her fingers with her lips. She raised her face to his and softly kissed his mouth, slipping her tongue in when he didn't respond. She felt his cock jump against her leg and she stroked the side of his face as she experimentally deepened this kiss. He exhaled in her mouth and began to kiss her back, restraining himself so he didn't scare her.

She pulled away to watch her hand's progress as it caressed his chest down to his stomach and finally to his shaft. She grasped it and he groaned. She moved her hand up and down and watched as a drop of liquid squeezed out of the tip. When that happened she felt a warm rush between her legs. _I'm making him do that_ she thought. Merle growled in frustration and pulled at the hem of her shirt. She sat up and her large violet eyes searched his as she let him pull it over her head. She looked down shyly as he took in her tight breasts with uplifted pink nipples. "Jesus Christ," he muttered and he sat up to fasten his mouth on one and his hand on another.

Merle moaned in ecstasy, these were the prettiest little titties he'd ever seen and fuck did they taste good. Beth sighed softly and gradually lay back, letting him take over. He played with her breasts until she started arching her back and moaning then he moved between her legs and let his hardness press into her as he sucked and squeezed her nipples. Beth's hips moved and as she rode the head of his cock through her boxers he knew it was time.

He slipped her shorts off of her and lay between her legs gradually pushing into her tightness. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her breath rattled in her throat with fear and longing. He nudged her legs apart and kept up the pressure and she cried and shook as the pressure gave way and he suddenly slid into her. Her legs were shaking and her face was buried in his neck as she tried to cry quietly. He had planned on comforting her at this point but the tightness was so exquisite that he lost himself and began rocking back and forth, fighting for control. This was better than any drug he had ever taken and he wanted to bury himself in deep and make her take his seed. He heard himself grunting and with a supreme effort he pulled out and sprayed semen against her spread legs then he collapsed halfway on top of her, puffing like a racehorse.

_It's over, thank you God it's over_, Beth thought. She knew that it would never hurt like that again. She pressed her face against his sweaty hair and tears of happiness and loss rolled out of her eyes. Suddenly she felt scared, doubting her decision, doubting her piety, fearing what her family would say. Merle shifted and his lips were on hers kissing her slowly. "You OK?" he murmured against her lips and she nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing into him. She felt a little bit better and told herself she needed a good night's sleep. She ran her fingers through his short hair until he flipped over on his back and pulled her into him.

TWDTWDTWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWDTWDTWD

It was still dark when Beth awoke to Merle kissing the back of her neck. She was on her side in between the wall and Merle and she couldn't remember ever being so comfortable. She sighed and shifted back into his warmth and was happy to feel his hardness pressing against her. She liked the feeling of having that power over him.

She shivered as his beard brushed a sensitive part of her neck and her mouth opened in pleasure when he gently pulled at her nipple. She wanted to know what it felt like for him to be inside her without pain. She pushed her ass back shyly until her opening was pressed against him and she gasped when he chuckled and pushed into her. "You like bein' fucked don't ya," he rumbled against her skin and she nodded. It had burned a little bit when he first entered but now it didn't hurt and she closed her eyes to concentrate on this strange new activity.

She knew she was supposed to move with him but her movements were uncoordinated and clumsy. He gripped her hip firmly with his hand and wrapped his other arm around her to move her into the rhythm. "So fuckin' tight," he growled and flipped her onto her stomach. All gentleness was gone now. Her mouth opened in amazement as he drove into her and ordered, "Spread yer legs." As he touched the top of her he triggered waves of pleasure and she moaned. His hips moved jerkily and he swore, hammering deep inside her then pulling out to ejaculate over her quivering ass. "Jesus Christ," he swore as he dropped his head to catch his breath.

"Not my finest moment sugar," he said panting. He wiped her off with the sheet and lay down beside her. She turned on her side to gaze at him and she watched a drop of sweat trace down his temple. He closed his eyes for a moment then turned his head toward her. "Better?" he asked. She smiled and nodded, "It hardly hurt," she whispered. She blushed. "What?" he asked. She said shyly, "It felt really good when it...or...you...were up at the top." She looked down at his chest, embarrassed. He smiled, "Then I need ta spend more time up in there," and she giggled and hid her face in his neck.

The sun was now coming over the horizon and she new he'd be leaving to hunt soon. "Merle," she whispered. He grunted in reply and she asked, "When can we do it again?" He rubbed his chin on the top of her head and thought. "When we get some birth control," he said. She frowned. That would require a run. "I'll steal some from Maggie," she vowed.

He shifted and she knew he wanted to leave. She raised her head and gave him her best soulful expression. "I'll miss you today," she said and kissed him softly on the lips. He moved his hand to the back of her head and deepened the kiss, causing her to lose her breath. He smiled. "Who could blame ya?" he smirked.

**It feels good to write again, please send me some love!**


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